Eighteenth Non-Story - The HG Swears Off Homestuck References

<Rand Brittain> So, you were going to steal the Cityback? Or did you have a sneakier plan?

<Benhimself> Possibly not doing every suspicious thing our Mimic Imperator asks of us?

<Lafing Cat> I'm making molasses cookies. Both in and out of character. Because why not?

<Rand Brittain> You don't know he's a Mimic!

<Rand Brittain> This is resurrectionist profiling!

<Lafing Cat> What is it to know?

<Lafing Cat> Do I know that I'm bridges, or do I only think that I'm bridges?

<Rand Brittain> The important thing is that Bridges think you're Bridges.

<Rand Brittain> Note that Deceivers can convince bridges that they're Bridges and get all your powers.

<Rand Brittain> Genseric put a Bridges in your bridges so you can bridges while you bridges.

<ADamiani> Pff. Generic Bridges.

<Lafing Cat> I must now design a matroyshka bridge.

<Lafing Cat> Admittedly, it is probably not especially convenient to take the top off a bridge

<Rand Brittain> You still haven't told me what your plans are, other than making cookies/bridges.

<Lafing Cat> Has anything happened since Praxael tried to convince us he wasn't a Mimic?

<Benhimself> Bridges: I noticed you're making cookies. Here's a bridge to some delicious ingredients!

<ADamiani> "I will shield you against kitchen disasters!"

<Rand Brittain> Not really; he just sent you out to steal Ananda's diary to get blackmail material so you can get the death warrant off of Miranda.

<Hollyhock God> Or maybe she'll just stay at home forever?

<Hollyhock God> She can be like the Chief, or Charlie.

<Dreams> "This plan", Dreams says while chewing on a cookie, "strikes me as having potentially undesirable long-term consequences."

<Dreams> "Also, the significance of Praxael's first new orders pitting us against another Imperator strikes me as troublesome."

<Dreams> "But these cookies are simply excellent."

<Miranda> "I suppose I should begin by divining their defenses.

<Dan> "Thanks. I got the recpipe from a software vendor, actually. Cheaper than booth babes, and almost as good at attracting people to your display. And yes, it may be risky, but we need to do something for Miranda."

<Hollyhock God> Firstest and mostest, an endless supply of urbana, backed up by the properties of the Cityback itself.

<Hollyhock God> Second, the ombudsmen, the urban forest rangers.

<Hollyhock God> Third, Ananda's own Nobles, possibly wielding the first two against you if they notice your presence.

<Hollyhock God> Fourth, Ananda himself, possibly maybe.

<KreenWarrior> (Can we arrange to do this while Ananda isn't there?)

<Miranda> "This isn't about me, Dan. The real objective here is finding out why they called this hit out on me to begin with."

<Miranda> (Remember that Ananda's Nobles are now the more formidible obstacle in real-time.)

<KreenWarrior> (Ah right, well when they're not there then.)

<KreenWarrior> (Heck, minimum number of occupants all told.)

<Dreams> "Because you were trying to kill everyone who got in the way of your quest to do something suspiciously similar to standard Excrucian activities? I mean, regardless of whether or not Marley's correct, her concerns aren't exactly trivial from an outside perspective."

<Miranda> (A simple miracle of infinite speed should return them quickly)

<Dreams> "I do agree that their response was a bit disproportionate, mind you."

<Miranda> "What the hell are you talking about, Dreams?

<Miranda> "I didn't try to kill anyone and my activities were precisely the OPPOSITE of the Excrucians."

<Dreams> "Well, sure, we know that."

<Miranda> "As did they."

<Hollyhock God> Two slashes!

<Miranda> ?

<Dreams> "Amazing! I had no idea you could read the thoughts and beliefs of Ananda's powers. That will make this significantly easier."

<Hollyhock God> Two slashes is the way to do italics. Then I don't have to change anything to put the logs on Wikidot.

<Dreams> (I prefer italics in the actual game to italics in the log.)

<Miranda> "Dreams, do try to be helpful."

<Hollyhock God> Sure, you just destroy the Terrafi Sairyd with a Greater Destruction and she can do it easy.

<Hollyhock God> Does your client show that as italics, then? Mine doesn't.

<Dan> (I don't get italics either.)

<Dreams> (Yes, I get this as italics.)

<KreenWarrior> (Me, either.)

<Dreams> (Weird that that's not universal.)

<Dan> (Well aren't you just special?)

<Miranda> (I don't get that as italics, Dreams.)

<Dreams> (Huh.)

<Dreams> (Okay, I'll stop doing it, then.)

<Hollyhock God> Meanwhile, the cookies start trying to wiggle away from Dreams' outstretched hands.

<Hollyhock God> I always use X-Chat because the logs are easiest to get to and it's multiplatform.

  • Dreams consumes them regardless!

<Dan> (X-Chat here as well.)

<Dreams> "Fine, fine. I don't know what I was thinking, trying to be the practical one. So what's the plan, then?"

<Dreams> (Chatzilla, here.)

<Miranda> (KVIrc.)

<Hollyhock God> Disguise yourself as… something amusing!

<Hollyhock God> Disguise yourself as Marley.

<Miranda> "Do they sleep? Can you preserve their dreams?"

<Hollyhock God> Who?

<Dreams> "I'm not sure if they sleep or not. The Infinite didn't strike me as the sort at that party 30 years back, though."

<Dan> "They wouldn't all be sleeping at once, anyway, and I imagine someone would get concerned when the sleeping ones didn't wake up."

<Miranda> "People usually sleep at roughly the same time. But you're right, I've heard that Cities never sleeps."

<Dreams> (Is Cities one of his Estates? I thought it was just Murder, The Infinite, and the Fourth Age.)

<Hollyhock God> It isn't.

<Hollyhock God> The Fourth Age That Is To Come.

<Hollyhock God> Lengthened for portentousness.

  • Hollyhock God laments his lack of color tags.

<Miranda> (Ah. Yes. Which just makes the Cityback even less comprehensible.)

<Miranda> (You don't have color tags?)

<Hollyhock God> Do I?

<Hollyhock God> OH MY GOD.

<Miranda> (?!)

<Hollyhock God> In Future All Of My Narration Will Be Delivered In This Manner

<Dreams> (Wonderful.)

<Miranda> Yes. It's true. In the fourth age that is yet to come, all naration will be green. (2)

<Hollyhock God> Of Course Many Imperators Express Their Combination Of Estates In Ways Not Immediately Comprehensible

<Dreams> Yes. I mean, it's not like Magical Venice is exactly well-supported by Praxael's estates.

<KreenWarrior> Cities are infinite murder?

<Hollyhock God> Its Only Reasonable That Human Minds Would Find It Confusing

<Dreams> Bridges nonwithstanding.

<Hollyhock God> That Said We Still Need A Plan To Infiltrate The Cityback And Acquire The Diary

<Miranda> Magical venice isn't well supported by anything.

<Dan> It's well supported by bridges.

<Dan> Ninjaed

<Dreams> There's the abyss of horrors beneath it. Or did we rule that out?

<Hollyhock God>I Think Its Mostly Just Junk

<Miranda> … I thought that was water?

<Miranda> And junk.

<Miranda> Mostly junk.

<Hollyhock God> Since Immanuel Is Not Here We Can Pretend Its Something Nicer

<Miranda> Project: trick-out our chancel!

<Dreams> Okay, Green is fine, but do we have to capitalize every word?

<Miranda> (Am I the only one that finds the caps scheme he's using disturbi—ah. No. OK.)

<Hollyhock God> Its Integral To The Kanaya Schtick Yes

<Miranda> Since I don't know who that is, it's just annoying.

  • Dreams hopesplodes the mother grub.

<Hollyhock God> http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003489

<Dreams> ANYWAY.

<Hollyhock God> Oh, great, Dreams is Karkat now.

<Hollyhock God> You keep those capitals where I can see them, buster.

<Dreams> "Enough about tricking out our Chancel with endless horrors! We have a diary to steal."

  • Dreams has another cookie.

<Dan> "Perhaps we could get the endless horrors to steal the diary."

<Hollyhock God> There is a gentle, fading wail as the cookie falls down your esophagus.

<Hollyhock God> I still vote for impersonating Marley. Or someone.

<KreenWarrior> Pizza deliverymen.

<Hollyhock God> Dan should pretend to be Ananda, as part of his crash course in sexiness.

<Dreams> "We could just saunter in as part of a diplomatic envoy to discuss the matter of our troubled sister, and others could sneak around while the Powers of Ananda are distracted.

<Dreams> "Ideally, we would have two two-god teams for this."

<Dreams> (KreenWarrior, are you actually with us?)

<Hollyhock God> Or just have Miranda do it.

<Hollyhock God> Plausible deniability!

<Dan> It's not delivery, it's Excrucians.

<Dreams> Mmmm.

<KreenWarrior> (In character or out?)

<Dreams> That's an excellent suggestion, disembodied voice!

<KreenWarrior> (I assumed I was retroactively with you, as is the way in our game)

<Hollyhock God> Oooh, yes, pretend to be Excrucians.

<Dreams> "Actually, if Miranda were the one to accomplish the theft, we'd have plausible deniability if they discovered the matter. Do you think you could get Uncertainty to help you with that?"

<Dreams> ("… Maybe.")

<KreenWarrior> (Flawless plan!)

<Dreams> "Or was she one of the ones trying to kill us? I'm not sure."

<Miranda> "Right, so, again: our primary objective is to determine why they're trying to kill me. Our secondary—I am not a thief!

<Dreams> "Wait wait wait."

<Dreams> "So you don't want to accomplish the mission Praxael gave us?"

<Dreams> "Oh, that makes things simpler, then."

<Miranda> "I regard it as a secondary, but still critical objective."

<Dreams> "It's a bit of a pity, though. I was looking forward to being a distraction."

<Dan> "Wouldn't our primary objective be to stop them trying to kill you?"

<Miranda> "That's the secondary bit."

<Dreams> "Well. Perhaps Ananda's diary will have insights into the nature of his motivations for various actions he's taken."

<Dan> "Admittedly, knowing why would help that, but it seems less important than accomplishing the task"

<Dreams> "Besides, I thought no force of Creation could kill Miranda."

<Miranda> "It's more important to know why, because it points to Marley's allegations."

<Miranda> "Which is mostly why I'm not that concerned."

<Dreams> "Although honestly I'd be surprised if Murder hasn't picked up an abhorrent weapon by now. Nice girl."

<Dreams> "A bit too fond of the Beatles, mind you."

<Dreams> (Dreams's recollections may be based more on canonically erroneous GWB than actual reality!)

<Miranda> (What, Strife and Murder both? The Beatles are, like, a death-metal band in the Nobilis universe, aren't they?)

<Dan> "You know, for only being 14 of them or whatever, we seem to run into quite a few."

<Hollyhock God> They're fan favorites!

<Miranda> What, the Beatles?

<Hollyhock God> Abhorrent Weapons.

<Hollyhock God> Even Immanuel has one.

<Hollyhock God> Although he thinks he's "purified" it, ha ha.

<Dreams> (I thought there were a couple of hundred. Just 14 well-known ones.)

<Dan> (Dan knows probably even less well than I do.)

<Dreams> (But it's not like we've been blabbing about Acceptance to all and sundry.)

<Dreams> (Except we sort of have.)

<Dan> "So anyway, Miranda is apparently unwilling to help us in this matter."

<Miranda> "What?"

<Dreams> "No, no, she just wants us to know that she isn't a thief."

<Dreams> "But she's willing to make moral sacrifices for the good of the mission."

<Miranda> Miranda nods, her position having been made quite clear!

<Dan> "Sure, we can instance a new class with the same properties and a different name."

<KreenWarrior> "Like just make up a new word?"

<Hollyhock God> Some porters with cat heads bring Dan another barrel of molasses. You aren't sure if they normally have cat heads, but it's probably just a temporary thing.

<Dreams> "Miranda, the Rogue of Shields!"

<Miranda> Miranda crosses her arms. "Are you trying to be difficult?"

<Dreams> "No, we're lightening the mood with humor!"

  • Dan apparently continues to make more cookies. "And delicious baked goods. Have another!"

<Hollyhock God> Give her more cookies.

<Dreams> "I'm unsure about the whole screaming aspect of these, though. It is novel, though."

  • Dreams has another anyway.

<Hollyhock God> It's your own fault for making things weird everywhere.

<Dan> "That's not normally how this recipe turns out. I think it's the eggs."

<Hollyhock God> That's right, I didn't forget about your status as pimpmaster hustledaddy of all things weird and incomprehensible.

<Hollyhock God> But anyway, how will you get your thief into the Cityback secretly?

<Dan> "A bridge, of course"

<Dreams> "Some sort of bridge shielded from observation, perhaps?"

  • Dreams eats the impertinent cookie for asking such a frivolous question!

<Miranda> "Observation isn't usually harm….

<Dreams> "Surely observation by people who want you dead would count."

<Miranda> "I don't like this plan at all. It's not even honest theft!"

<Hollyhock God> Tell it to Stheno! Or a Weeping Angel.

<Dreams> "I mean, if not, I guess not. Hmm."

<KreenWarrior> "Now would be a great time to have someone in charge of Secrets on our team."

<Dreams> "If only we knew some sort of… power of Secrets…"

<Dreams> "Yes."

<Dan> "Well, bridges do carry you over obstacles, and in this case it would seem being observed would be an obstacle. I can probably make you not seen as long as your on the bridge"

<Miranda> "….what are the rules of evidentiary procedure for the locust court?"

<Dreams> "Does it amuse Lord Entropy to accept this as evidence Y/N?"

<Miranda> That was 2e. Now there are actual… rules, like.

<Dreams> "I mean, okay, yes, Surolam cares a bit about Law and precedent, obviously, and Ha-Qadosch-Berakha's fairly bribeable, but Entropy's still the one to watch."

<Miranda> "Especially if Ananda has to recuse himself."

<Dreams> "Normally I would say we could appeal to Ananda's better nature in the matter of questions on the Council of Four, but that's fairly awkward in this case."

<Dreams> "Mmm."

<Miranda> Shields grins. "I say we throw the book at him."

<Miranda> …wait, crap, we have no aspect-monkey who would be great at lawyering.

<Dreams> "I don't think that plays to any of our strengths."

<Hollyhock God> I still say you should disguise Miranda as an Excrucian.

<Hollyhock God> Really bleak her up

<Dan> Didn't she get past her goth phase recently?

<Dan> "Could you use the law as your shield? Or are you less metaphysical?"

<Miranda> "And breaking-and-entering does?"

<Miranda> "Of course I can use the law as a shield.

<Dreams> "You're the one who ixnayed breaking and entering!"

<Dreams> "What we really need is some sort of half-angel power of Mercury."

<Miranda> "The thing is, we don't have to win a trial. We just have to get the book introduced into evid—- Mercury?"

<Dreams> "Wait, now I'm just being silly."

<Miranda> "Yeah, pretty much."

<Dreams> "But yes, the idea of incorporating the book into the dreams of, well, everyone, did occur to me. Surolam would probably block a precedent that said 'kill everyone, ever'."

<Dreams> "I worry, if this is a Mimic-raising ritual, though, that that might be awkward."

<Dan> "How many dead Imperators are there to raise into mimics anyway?"

<Hollyhock God> That's a complicated metaphysical question!

<Dreams> "There is a war going on, if you haven't noticed."

<Dreams> "I'm kind of surprised we've lasted this long without any Excrucian attacks on our estates, honestly."

  • Dreams waits a beat.

<Miranda> "What 'kill everyone, ever'?

<Miranda> "I meant Ananda's diary."

<Dreams> "Oh. I thought you meant the book of evil."

<Dreams> 'Or whatever it's called."

<Miranda> "It's not a book of evil.

<Miranda> "There are three books. One I took from death, one that covers the guidelines of resurrection, and Ananda's diary."

<Dreams> "That's exactly what blah blah etcetra so on and so forth."

<Miranda> "I'm not sure which is more dangerous."

<Dreams> "Wait, I thought the one you took from death was a copy of the resurrection book?"

<Hollyhock God> You've got Fehim Eye-of-Heaven's journal, a book from Marley's library called The Onyx Art and Ananda's diary.

<Hollyhock God> And you don't actually have that last one.

<Dan> Too late

<Miranda> Damn. Thought we'd tricked him!

<Dan> You said she has it, she does!

<Dreams> The prosecution rests!

<Hollyhock God> What pumpkin!

  • Hollyhock God deappearifies the diary.

<Dreams> "Hmmm. I haven't broadly disseminated forbidden knowledge since the 20s."

<Dreams> "Surely you remember that thing with old what'shisname? The hard to pronounce one? Ah, that was fun."

<Dan> "I wasn't born then."

<Hollyhock God> Enough! Somebody come up with a plan for stealing the diary or otherwise doing something besides eating cookies.

<Dan> We're going to bridge miranda in disguised as an excrucian. Because why not.

<KreenWarrior> Sounds good

<Dreams> "Okay, so, I go have a talk with Ananda's powers, Miranda sneaks in, possibly disguised, possibly not, Dan applies his abilities as he sees fit."

<Dreams> "Do we actually know where Cyrus is, or not?"


<Miranda> I had a plan.

<Hollyhock God> KreenWarrior! KreeeeeeeeenWarriorrrrrrr!

<Hollyhock God> What plan was that?

<Dreams> "Which was that, again?"

<Miranda> "Charge Ananda with his crimes. Technically he's not allowed to just call out death-squads, you know."

<Hollyhock God> Who says he isn't?

<Miranda> The law.

<Hollyhock God> Which law?

<Dreams> "Well, he is sort of the Lord of Murder. Also, are we sure he didn't get the approval of the rest of the Council of Four?"

<Hollyhock God> I don't recall any law saying that Murder can't have you murdered.

<KreenWarrior> (Why is my name being yelled?)

<Hollyhock God> We just like yelling.

<Miranda> Sevenfold vengeance and attempts to murder an innocent.

<Dreams> "Um."

<Miranda> That's two crimes under the Code Fidelitatis.

  • Dreams tactfully has another cookie.

<Dreams> "Strictly speaking, the Code Fidelitatis only applies to nobles, not imperators."

<Miranda> "His Powers attempted to implement it."

<Hollyhock God> Serve thy Imperator before the War!

<Dreams> "Serve thy imperator before… yes."

<Miranda> "Yes. But you still get brought up on charges if serving thy imerator violates the other statutes of the code."

<Hollyhock God> Also we need you to disguise Miranda as a bleak and pretty goddess of emptiness.

<Dreams> "It's an arguable point and I'm not entirely sure if the Locust Court would be more sympathetic to you than him."

<Dreams> "But it's certainly something we could try if you prefer. Dan?"

<Miranda> "And if my plan rested on winning the case, it would be a bad plan."

<Miranda> "But we just need him to mount a defense centered on what I was doing. We can enter his diary into evidence."

<Dreams> "Besides, strictly speaking right now the charges would be attempted murder, which the Locust Court usually finds totally weaksauce."

<Miranda> "That's because he's totally weaksauce.

<Hollyhock God> It darn sure didn't get you far with Vesperius.

<Dreams> "I recall a possible apocryphal story about them killing someone who complained about attempts on his life just for wasting their time."

<Hollyhock God> Everybody is screaming.

<Hollyhock God> Maybe we just scored?

  • Dreams thought that was in-game for a second.

<Dreams> I was kind of creeped out!

<Dan> Ditto.

<Hollyhock God> I remember visiting my cousins in a little English village once.

<Cyrus> Wasn't entirely sure, given the screaming cookies earlier

<Hollyhock God> We got of the train and started walking into town, and the entire village started screaming.

<Miranda> WHat game?

<Hollyhock God> World Cup.

<Dreams> "Oh, silly me, the Sword of Nightmares came a little loose there."

<Hollyhock God> British people really like their football.

<Miranda> Soccer.

<Dreams> "So, do we want to try the plan with subtlety, or the plan where Miranda turns herself in?"

<Miranda> I'm not turning myself in in either—-

<Dreams> "Yes, I know, not technically turning herself in, but with the same net effect."

<Miranda> Ah, screw it.

<Cyrus> "I prefer subtlety and shenanigans."

<Miranda> OK, but I don't want to steal things.

<Hollyhock God> But Daddy will be disappointed!

<Dreams> "We could make a copy."

<Miranda> I made a point of that during the book incident before.

<Hollyhock God> Casting people into the depths of the netherworld, yes. Stealing, no.

  • Hollyhock God is reminded of the episode of Darkwing Duck where the art thief quotes Nietzche and other pop philosophers to explain why she's allowed to steal stuff, and nobody has the liberal arts mojo to gainsay her.

<Dan> Heh.

  • Dreams doesn't recall that episode, but is amused at the prospect.

<Hollyhock God> Actually, Rinne should pick up that schtick.

<Dreams> "Dan! Create a bridge between our two different plans."

  • Dan does that!

<Hollyhock God> Miranda arrives in court with Ananda's diary, disguised as an Excrucian!

<Dreams> ("This was a bad idea.")

<Miranda> I'm the only one with objections. But I'm the only one being asked to dress up like an Excrucian for no comprehensiible reason and steal things.

<Dreams> (But I laughed out loud.)

<Hollyhock God> Ananda disguises an Excrucian as Miranda, in the Locust Court.

<Dan> (Heh.)

  • Cyrus grants her shiny prettiness!

<Dreams> "Now, it was mostly the cookies that wanted you dressed as an Excrucian."

<Dreams> "Although that is a surprisingly good look on you, now that Cyrus has applied it."

<Hollyhock God> Years in the future, but not many, a bunch of cookies are punching buttons on a terminal.

<Miranda> …why am I shiny and pretty?

<Hollyhock God> It's part of your Excrucian disguise, in case anybody sees you stealing stuff.


<Hollyhock God> Or I guess you can just stay at home? Or maybe go to the Cityback in person and just ask not to be killed?

<Miranda> Making me shiny. SHINY. Is supposed to help me steal st—

<Miranda> I'd like to not be the centerpeice of the plan.

<Hollyhock God> A general goes to war with the miracles he has.

<Hollyhock God> Fine. Cyrus is in charge of stealing things, then.

<Hollyhock God> Cyrus, please render your morals fluid.

<Dreams> "That's also a fairly good idea. I mean, I don't think they even KNOW about Cyrus, yet."

<Dreams> "We should throw a cotillion soon. After we take advantage of the fact."

<Hollyhock God> Yeah, make him kill all your enemies first.

<Dreams> "No, no, he's just discreetly robbing our misinformed colleagues!"

  • Cyrus is pretty sure his morals are already fluid.

<Dan> "Nothing like hiding a trump up your sleeve to ace the ball into that hat trick. Checkmate."

<Miranda> Everything about him is fluid.

<Hollyhock God> Okay, then. Please define your plan in specific terms. And then do it.

<Cyrus> "I don't suppose we know where Ananda keeps his super-secret diary?"

<Dreams> "Cyrus, stop making Dan's metaphors spill all over the place."

<Dreams> "Okay. So. I'll go to the Cityback, request an audience to discuss the problem of them trying to kill our sister."

<Miranda> Can I divine the specific defenses of the diary?

<Dreams> "While this happens, Cyrus will sneak into the cityback, and try to steal the diary."

<Cyrus> Cyrus will sacrifice his own shining nature, making him unnoticeable

<Miranda> Like, locally? In such a way as to determine where it's at?

<Dreams> "Dan? Which of these efforts do you feel you would be more comfortable being personally present at?"

<Dreams> "Also, Miranda, what would you like to do?"

<Dreams> "Besides get involved in the Locust Court."

  • Hollyhock God tries to thing of some good urban defenses.

<Cyrus> Actually, wait, he'll just whip up a few potions of invisibility

<Miranda> You don't need to, just enough to really get an idea of where it's at.

<Hollyhock God> It's in Sydney.

<Hollyhock God> The Cityback side of Sydney, obviously.

<Hollyhock God> Possibly inside a dinosaur, or maybe something else I'll think of later.

<Miranda> OK. So let's do it.

<Miranda> Unless we'd rather do this as a proper heist?

<Hollyhock God> How does one do a proper heist?

<Hollyhock God> Heh, do you want to play one of Ananda's Powers, then?

<Dreams> A team of dashing hollywood stars?

<Hollyhock God> That might be a bit more dynamic.

<Cyrus> I think you need theme music

<Miranda> Well… Lessee. In Mission Impossible, you'd have a MacGuffin. Which we have.

<Miranda> And a team of specialists.

<Miranda> Which we have.

<Miranda> And then you'd, what?

<Miranda> Figure out when the MacGuffin would be uniquely vulnerable.

<Miranda> And then exploit the talents of your team to make that happen.

<Hollyhock God> Hm, uniquely vulnerable.

<Hollyhock God> Presumably it's vulnerable when Ananda gets it out or puts it back again.

<Miranda> Yes, Playing one of Ananda's powers would be fun.

<Hollyhock God> Which he would do after writing something in it.

<Hollyhock God> Which he would do after something interesting happens to him.

<Cyrus> Like a visit from an Excrucian?

<Hollyhock God> Hm, what are your specialties in Ocean's Eleven lingo?

<Cyrus> Greaseman?

<Hollyhock God> Miranda is the Fixer, Dreams is the Face, Cyrus is the… Doctor, and Dan is the Driver?

<Miranda> Security Specialist.

<Miranda> I'm clearly either Livingston Dell (Eddie Jemison) o Basher Tarr (Don Cheadle)

<Hollyhock God> So, do you want to play Murder, the Infinite, or the Fourth Age That Is To Come?

<Hollyhock God> Sorry, I mean The Fourth Age That Is To Come.

<Miranda> Hold on here, let's explore the heist thing a little more.

<Miranda> I'm done putting up obstacles to it because 'that's what my character would do' is a dumb excuse.

<Hollyhock God> I'm not really sure about the other stuff but Dreams being the Face seems about right.

<Hollyhock God> His Pulchritude is clearly highest.

<Miranda> Honestly, it'd be better to steal Ananda's Pulchritude. More epic./

<Hollyhock God> Cyrus and Dan seem more generalist than specialist, really.

<Miranda> Dan is transportation. He's our way in. And our way out.

<Dreams> (Obligatory sephulchritude joke to annoy the non-MSPA fans in the audience!)

<Hollyhock God> Not yet!

<Miranda> But really, we should be doing something more epic than 'walk up to him and talk, and Cyrus cans wipe things while his back is turned'

<Hollyhock God> Yes, you need to convince him to take the diary out of hiding.

<Hollyhock God> Then steal it and his lunch money together.

<Miranda> … and we need a fake book.

<Dreams> Walking up and talking to Murder and the Infinite is plenty epic!

<Miranda> A way to take the information without him knowing it's gone.

<Hollyhock God> Dreams, make one of those dream books you can't actually read.

  • Dreams takes the cook book and dream-chants it.

<Miranda> Will it copy the book when it's touched to it?

<Dreams> With strangeness and reflection!

<Dreams> So it'll reflect the diary and whatnot.

<Miranda> Great! Now we're cooking. We just need to get OUR book to where HIS book is, and we'll download the data like a USB-dreamstick.

<Dreams> "Now, I will go demand an audience… WITH THE SKY."

  • Dreams has one last cookie to go.

<Miranda> Getting IN isn't going to be a problem, since we have Dan. BUT: We need to find the book.

<Miranda> So:

<Miranda> 1) We need to tag Ananda's location.

<Miranda> 2) We need to get Ananda to open the book.

<Miranda> 3) We need to draw Ananda away from the book.

<Miranda> 4) We need to get Dan and Cyrus in, and buy them enough time to make a copy and the extract.

<Miranda> Now: Is there any excuse we can have to need to be in position ahead of time, because Danny Ocean totally would.

<Miranda> Or, possibly, I'm just talking to myself here in which case I'll shut up and we can go do, um. thing.

<Dreams> No, no, planning is good!

<Dreams> Admittedly, a proper heist, we'd just start doing stuff, and explain how it was all part of our plan as it happened.

<Dreams> But that's harder to game.

<Hollyhock God> Swear an oath to bother Ananda until he lets you off the murder-hook.

<Dreams> Leverage system aside.

<Hollyhock God> It's not like he knows you're after his diary.

<Miranda> Maybe there's a way we can do that, Dream?

<Dreams> There is, interestingly, rules-precedent what with the methods of defeating divinations. But it'd really require HG approval.

<Hollyhock God> Interesting!

<Hollyhock God> I like it. Let's do it.

<Miranda> So, we take wounds to have retroactively done something plan-wise?

<Hollyhock God> Sure. And I guess if Miranda isn't into stealing ADamiani can play for the other side, either as Ananda or one of his Powers.

<Miranda> Well, I mean, I can justify it: Miranda is a Praxael fanatic.

<Dreams> I don't know if a full wound is necessary?

<Dreams> I think that's if you can't justify doing it with a miraculous action instead?

<Hollyhock God> Well, naturally.

<Miranda> Dreams: A full wound makes it scale based on how big an edit is needed, and gives us a somewhat finite constraint on how much we can do with this 'part of our plan all along bit'

<Miranda> HG: But playing the other team is always fun.

<Miranda> So it's totally you guys' call as to what we want to do. I think we've finally figured out how this is supposed to work. Sort of. RIght?

<Hollyhock God> I think so, although we may have to actually do it next week.

  • Dreams rolls Insight!
  • Hollyhock God rolls Confidence.

<Hollyhock God> This roll is incredibly successful.

<Cyrus> next week I hopefully won't be 75% asleep for session

<Miranda> Yeah yeah. But we've gotten this mapped, right? And maybe if we take a week we can have some formal leveragey-minigame rules?

<Miranda> And we'll have Melum. :)

<Dreams> Hrm.

<Hollyhock God> Yes, I may look into these "Leverages".

  • Hollyhock God has the first season on DVD but hasn't watched it yet.

<Dreams> One wonders if he should be team Distraction or the heist group's Hitter.

  • Dreams really needs to order the third season.

<Dreams> I was highly annoyed at Irene wiping out my ability to watch the season four finale, too.

<Dreams> Well, not finale, until it resumes in November.

<Dreams> mid-season finale.

<Dreams> But yes, it's an excellent show. There's only three TV shows I've bought on DVD, and it's one of them.

<Dreams> (Venture Brothers and Samurai Jack, if you're curious.)

<Dreams> Oh, wait, Firefly, too.

<Hollyhock God> Oh, good old Samurai Jack.

<Miranda> We can justify Miranda not being there, if I'm oppo-team, because she's locked down to the Chancel

<Dreams> Mmm.

<Hollyhock God> http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?531693-Why-is-Desus-a-monster&p=12672171#post12672171

<Dan> I will not be here next week. I'm going to be at a Bill Bailey show.

<Miranda> Dammit!

<Miranda> You're our wheelman!

<Miranda> On the other hand, that makes the challenge like 50% greater.

<Dreams> As usual, we will be forced to take advantage of your Helpful Estate without you actually being there!

<Dan> Heh

<Hollyhock God> Via rhyming couplets, of course.

<Hollyhock God> "Bridges is a sexy beast/Won't you take us ten miles east?"

<Dan> I'll let the flattery make up for the poor rhyme >_>

<Dreams> Entertainingly, that's exactly how your Estate worked that one time!

  • Dreams may also owe Dan a favor of some sort he hasn't mentioned yet.

<Hollyhock God> You ate his cookies even though they screamed.

  • Hollyhock God decides to order late-night cookie delivery.

<Dan> Heh.

  • Hollyhock God promises to get to serious work on Dreams causing odd things to happen.

<Miranda> OK. Then we're done?

  • Hollyhock God will stroke a mummy's paw or some bullshit and open a dark channel, causing lecherous flagella to spill out into normal reality.

<Cyrus> That was weird.

<Rand Brittain> I guess so. Stupid planning!

<Rand Brittain> But next week there will be triple fun.

<Rand Brittain> If you are all very good, I might even stop making Homestuck references for a week.

  • Benhimself cancels his writeup of the Praxael Nobilis Ancestor posts.

<Cyrus> alright, gotta prepare for my in-person game tomorrow. see you guys next week!@

<Benhimself> "Everybody is totally fed up with your condescending, self indulgent narrative style. They all want to go back to my slightly less condescending, slightly more self indulgent style."

<Benhimself> Oh, how I laughed and laughed.

<Rand Brittain> I think you will find that as Hollyhock Gods go, I am simply the best there is!

<Dan> ?

<Rand Brittain> If you can't understand it, it's one of our interminable Homestuck jokes.

<Rand Brittain> That's a pretty good rule.

<Benhimself> Mmm. Especially lately.

<Benhimself> (Homestuck gets a bit meta and self-referential at times, and that's him pointing fun at his own tendency for doing so.)

<Rand Brittain> As depicted via a scene in which one omniscient narrator beats the shit out of another.

<Rand Brittain> "For I am stalking the most dangerous prey, a four-foot-tall asshole in suspenders who won't shut up."

<Rand Brittain> Oh, good, the cookies came.

<Benhimself> It's only 6000 pages at this point! An ideal time to leap in!

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