Finding VAULT, or, MONEY Games

<Sarabande> (Just so you know. I'm running on "I have no idea what happened in the last two sessions," IC.)

<Nomen> (Darryl betrayed us. We were all judged guilty, or something.)

<Hollyhock God> Well, Darryl betrayed you all and stole the moon.

<Hollyhock God> Then he was put on trial, and you were all found incredibly guilty.

<Hollyhock God> Even the ones who weren't on trial.

<Hollyhock God> Thus your Imperator has demanded that you undergo the dreaded TRIAL OF SINCERITY.

<Gayo> We are totally guilty, to be fair, but it was for the greater good. History will judge us as heroes!

<Hollyhock God> That just means someone didn't audit History hard enough.

<Nomen> Well to be fair, I was the lawyer, and apparently our Imperator is a lot like me.

<Hollyhock God> I don't see what that has to do with being fair at all!

<Hollyhock God> Anyway, you fall through endless darkness.

<Hollyhock God> Then, you land in a pile of money!

<Hollyhock God> The money begins to yell, quite loudly.

  • Sarabande hovers above the money and examines it for signs of being people.

<Vauncey> Can I tell what the money is distressed about, using tax miracles? I should…probably open the PDF.

<Hollyhock God> This money appears to be hella people.

  • Nomen considers killing the money, but that'd probably be wrong.

<Sarabande> I assume it's people who are coins and banknotes?

<Hollyhock God> Killing money that is people is wrong.

<Hollyhock God> This stuff is all coins.

<Vauncey> It's also fiscally irresponsible, regardless!

<Hollyhock God> They're a sort of hunter green color.

<Hollyhock God> Another thing that happened last week is that Nomen drank the honey of introspection and learned the difference between right and wrong.

<Vauncey> Does the money appear to be taxes, or non-taxes?

<Hollyhock God> It is the worst thing that has ever happened to him.

<Hollyhock God> It's non-taxes.

<Hollyhock God> And it's making an odd noise.

<Sarabande> "We are sorry we fell on you, money. Are you alright?"

<Hollyhock God> Like "Mmmmoooohhhh."

<Hollyhock God> In between complaining about you falling on it.

<Hollyhock God> "Oh, god," says one of the coins. "It's talking humans!"

  • Sarabande examines the cooperation-nature of the money to discern whether it is a sensible swarm-of-coins sentience or lots of those weird individual sentiences.

<Vauncey> Hmm, being non-taxes means I cannot use Domain Conversation on it. I will attempt Regular Conversation.

<Hollyhock God> Each coin appears to be individually sentient. The nature of their cooperation is… it is…

<Hollyhock God> Oh, dear.

<Hollyhock God> Sarabande detects that she and her siblings have landed in the middle of an orgy. She considers ways to prevent them discovering this.

  • Vauncey picks himself up gingerly and waves his hands to calm everybody down. "All right, everybody calm down, one at a time now. What's all this about, lads?"
  • Sarabande enacts the first plan, and does not tell them.

<Sarabande> Also, hovers slightly higher up.

<Hollyhock God> "That's for you to explain!" says one of the bits of money that's not busy elsewhere, doing whatever. "How did you learn to talk, anyway?"

<Nomen> "Well, I started with cussing a lot."

<Hollyhock God> "Naturally, naturally," agrees the money, nodding the little head on the front of the coin. "But that doesn't really explain it."

<Vauncey> "There's a funny story behind that, actually, but it's quite long, so perhaps another time."

<Nomen> "All you must know is that… I have… interest in you."

  • Nomen checks to see if puns are wrong.

<Hollyhock God> You aren't sure if puns are wrong or not. It's a grey area.

<Hollyhock God> "Perhaps you should be going, then? We're all very busy forn—COLLECTING INTEREST, I mean."

<Nomen> "Really? Busy how? PENNY for your words."

<Hollyhock God> "I'll explain when you're older."

<Nomen> "If I'm older than twenty, I'll be put out of circulation you DIRTY MONEY!"

<Nomen> (Usually money is taken out of circulation twenty years after it's produced. I mean, bills and coins.)

  • Vauncey examines his surroundings. "Quite right, I suppose — if you're not having any fiscal difficulties then I suppose we aren't needed here. Might I ask which way the exit is?"

<Hollyhock God> "How dare you! Keep up that kind of talk and you'll be arrested for debasing currency. You get out! Right through that door over there!"

<Hollyhock God> The door appears to be the back side of a heavy vault door, the kind with a spinny handle.

<Hollyhock God> At least you presume.

<Sarabande> "Hmmmmmmmmm."

<Hollyhock God> There's no way to open the door on this side.

<Sarabande> "Opening that door may have unfortunate consequences."

<Nomen> "You presume that I'll SPEND any effort opening it? Open it yourself."

<Hollyhock God> Once again you are locked in a vault.

<Hollyhock God> "How would I open a vault? That's what humans are for."

<Sarabande> "Let's get our heads together and think how to escape /without/ accidentally breaking the vault."

  • Vauncey strokes his beard in thought. "Hmm. Seems it's locked, my friends." He looks back at his familia. "What do you say — shall we have a go at springing it, or do you imagine the old man means for us to learn an Important Lesson here?"

<Nomen> "Breaking the vault sounds like it'd be wrong…SOMEONE GET THIS THING OUT OF MY HEAD ALREADY!"

<Hollyhock God> Destroying other people's property is wrong.

<Nomen> "Ah. So this vault is someone else's property instead of ours."

<Vauncey> Hmm, that does raise a question — whose vault is this? Can I detect that, and whether they're delinquent in taxes, by divining the taxes due on all this non-tax money?

<Nomen> "This… celestial introspection could be useful."

<Nomen> (In before "abusing your instrospection is wrong.")

<Hollyhock God> Abusing your introspection is awesome.

  • Nomen goes to the vault door and knocks on it.

<Nomen> "OPEN UP!"


<Vauncey> In any case, I will attempt to do the thing. The taxy thing. Failing that, more extreme measures.

<Darryl> (But is bribery wrong?)

<Hollyhock God> Bribery is wrong!

<Hollyhock God> So wrong.

<Nomen> (There's no bribery, he's pointing out a possibility.)

<Hollyhock God> The vault door is not opened.

<Nomen> (One that he'll take every effort to make sure won't happen cause that money is THEIRS.)

<Hollyhock God> Vauncey will need to be more specific than "the taxy thing."

  • Vauncey attempts to use Lesser Divination to learn about who pays taxes on all this stuff, how much, and whether they are delinquent.
  • Vauncey waves one hand in an ambiguously magic way, like a jedi.

<Hollyhock God> This money doesn't have taxes paid on it. It pays taxes.

<Hollyhock God> This money is a collection of citizens!

<Nomen> Is estabilishing a tyranny wrong?

<Vauncey> Hmm.

<Vauncey> What does money pay taxes in?

<Sarabande> "Excuse me, vault door?"

<Vauncey> Not a rhetorical question! I will use DIVINE MAGIC (lesser divination) to determine what money pays taxes in.

<Hollyhock God> Tyranny is very wrong.

<Hollyhock God> "Huh?" says the vault door.

<Nomen> What if I'm a good tyrant?

<Hollyhock God> The vault door is not a citizen. It is just talking as a product of animism.

<Hollyhock God> Tyrants are very bad.

<Hollyhock God> Vauncey: People, mostly.

<Darryl> What about Lord Vetinari?

<Hollyhock God> I mean, not people. You know. Humans.

<Vauncey> Hmmm.


<Nomen> Yeah, what if I'm like Lord Vetinari?

<Sarabande> "What exactly is your job, door?"

<Hollyhock God> "Open. Shut. Open. Shut."

<Sarabande> "Hmmmmm."

<Nomen> Are conquerors bad?

<Sarabande> "Walls? Is it your job to keep the money inside, away from people who aren't supposed to be here?"

<Sarabande> Hollyhock God: wait, the introspection needs paying? :-D

<Hollyhock God> Conquerors are extremely bad.

<Vauncey> If the money pays taxes in people, Vauncey will use a Lesser Creation of Taxes to create taxes owing by the money, payable by us, and then use a Lesser Animation of Taxes to safely transport us to the other side of the vault.

<Hollyhock God> No, but apparently sometimes it throws errors.

<Vauncey> Probably he will mention that he is doing this before he does it, but in a somewhat ambiguous way so it is still a surprise.

<Sarabande> Aww.

<Sarabande> I looked up Error 402 and apparently it's "payment required" in HTML. :-)

<Hollyhock God> It appears you have been taxed.

<Hollyhock God> Really?

<Hollyhock God> Huh.

<Hollyhock God> Well, I guess you could try it.

<Hollyhock God> You are in a bank!

<Hollyhock God> Human people are waiting in line to see the tellers.

<Nomen> "Hmm…"

<Hollyhock God> There is a box of doughnuts.

<Hollyhock God> Each human takes a doughnut as it passes.

  • Nomen steals some money, then pays introspection not to bother him for a while.

<Hollyhock God> The doughnuts are very stale.

<Hollyhock God> Stealing is incredibly wrong, as is bribery!

<Darryl> That is a bad way to treat your introspection ):

<Nomen> But did it work?

<Hollyhock God> Apparently not.

<Nomen> "Damnit!"

<Hollyhock God> Also the money is screaming.

<Hollyhock God> "Help! I've been kidnapped!"

  • Nomen kills the money. Everything is going downhill, anyway.

<Hollyhock God> Humans in badly-fitted bank guard uniforms arrive, waving guns.

  • Sarabande sighs.

<Hollyhock God> Killing money is very wrong! Nomen does it anyway.

<Hollyhock God> The guards fire.

<Darryl> I'm not sure this behavior is demonstrating much understanding of our past misdeeds and a firm resolve to do better in the future.

<Darryl> It's more like a firefight.

<Nomen> Well, at least he chose to kill the money instead of using it to bargain.

<Nomen> (…and then killing them anyway.)

  • Vauncey ducks and rolls behind a counter. "Blast it, Nomen, it didn't have to be this way!"

<Nomen> "You don't know that for a fact."

<Vauncey> (Derring-Do + Aspect 2 for intention, if it's relevant.)

  • Nomen is good being fired at. Immortal.

<Nomen> "Can you guys stopping firing? You're wasting bullets. Wasting bullets is wrong!"

<Hollyhock God> The guards do not respond. Also they don't meet your eyes.

<Hollyhock God> They're basically just weird-looking and wrong.

<Darryl> But they're making a firm statement of opposition to this robbery, and that seems like the right thing to do.

<Hollyhock God> Meanwhile Nomen is being swarmed by a giant pile of bank customers who hurl themselves on top of him.

<Nomen> "Hmm… is destroying miracles of controlling puppets wrong?"

<Hollyhock God> Freeing people from miraculous control is surely right.

  • Nomen tries to use Noble Nemesis to sever all miraculous control in the area.

<Hollyhock God> You wave the sword around. This has no discernable effect.

<Nomen> "Blast it."

<Hollyhock God> Also you are now at the bottom of a people pile. It's quite difficult to move.

<Nomen> "This could be a problem."

  • Sarabande hums the Silent Hum to sever the unnatural bond of Cooperation that perverts the Domain into Subjugation!

<Hollyhock God> The guards begin sorting through the pile so they can handcuff you and take you away.

<Sarabande> (1mp for a Lesser Destruction)

<Hollyhock God> Hm. That doesn't do anything, either.

<Nomen> They have a problem.

<Hollyhock God> So Nomen is carried off in a police car.

<Nomen> I have a gravitational field.

<Nomen> You can't really get these people that are attached to me away so easily.

<Hollyhock God> Well, you're clearly very dangerous.

<Darryl> Try using your gravitational field to reduce the weight of your crime to nothingness!

<Hollyhock God> So you're all carried away in a police, uh, pickup truck.

<Hollyhock God> Yeah!

<Vauncey> I'll go too, I guess.

<Vauncey> We need to get our story straight!

<Hollyhock God> The policemen firmly push you away, murmuring indistinguishably.

<Hollyhock God> You haven't committed any crimes!

<Nomen> Neither have any of the people attached to me.

<Hollyhock God> "Mwa-ma-mwa-mwa-mwa."

<Nomen> They can't just bring me along and all of them too.

<Darryl> It could be protective custody?

<Nomen> That'd be wrong

<Hollyhock God> Yes, arresting people who haven't committed crimes is very wrong, unless they're a material witness or something."

<Hollyhock God> Nevertheless, this happens.

<Sarabande> Gosh!

<Nomen> But can they be witnesses?

<Nomen> They never met my eyes.

<Nomen> And I have a right to look my accuser in the eye.

<Hollyhock God> Well, they apparently can't talk, so.

<Vauncey> Dammit, Nomen, why did you kill the money?

<Darryl> This is a fiduciary tragedy.

<Nomen> "…I was gambling."

<Hollyhock God> Instead of being taken to the police station and read his rights, Nomen is sent immediately to prison.

<Nomen> (MORE PUNS!)

<Vauncey> Let's visit Nomen in prison, I guess.

<Nomen> "This is wrong! I can't be imprisoned without due process!"

<Hollyhock God> You are left in front of a giant work wheel, along with all the people still attached to you.

<Vauncey> We can bring him cigarettes.

<Hollyhock God> Imprisoning people without due process is wrong.

<Hollyhock God> Smoking is wrong.

<Vauncey> It's OK because he's immortal.

<Hollyhock God> Exposing others to secondhand smoke is wrong.

<Nomen> That is an oddly good point.

<Sarabande> "These authorities do not appear to be legitimate at all!"

<Darryl> That's a good point.

<Nomen> Bring an e-cigar, then.

<Vauncey> Hmm.

<Vauncey> Can we get Nomen a lawyer?

<Nomen> I am technically a lawyer.

<Hollyhock God> You could ask, I guess.

<Hollyhock God> Although people around here seem to mostly say "mwa."

<Vauncey> Do they appear to be metaphorical constructs?

<Vauncey> Is this a psychodrama?

<Hollyhock God> How would you know the difference? What behavior would you expect of a construct?

<Vauncey> Well, they only say "mwa".

<Vauncey> Do things appear to be pregnant with symbolic significance?

<Hollyhock God> No, not really.

<Vauncey> OK, good to know.

<Vauncey> Anyway, I will visit Nomen, I guess. "How are they treating you, old boy?"

  • Nomen plays a sad harmonica tune.

<Nomen> "Prisons changes a man."

<Hollyhock God> I guess at some point you should worry about getting home?

  • Vauncey chuckles politely, waiting a beat before continuing. "Listen, my friend, we should probably get you out of here, but you've got to stop it with the evil!" He shakes his head sadly. "I think I'm a reasonable man, Nomen, I've lived a full life. Certainly I wouldn't ask you to never kill anybody, or anything like that. But, you know, try to save it for the right moment! We have to prove ourselves, here. You don't want those robbers and gnomes running things without us, now, do you?"

<Vauncey> (Hm. Are we in a hurry to get home? I know we have this test but I sort of assumed the test was here unless otherwise stated.)

  • Hollyhock God goes to make popcorn while Vauncey and Nomen reenact Lord Shojo's speech to Belkar.

<Hollyhock God> I seem to recall that "get home alive" was the success condition.

<Darryl> Got to fill out the forms, you know.

<Nomen> "They're…tax evaders. Hear me out Vauncey. If they ever take over, even if it…destroys me completely. I will murder each and everyone of them"

<Vauncey> (Well, we are still alive.)

<Hollyhock God>

  • Vauncey tugs on the tip of his beard. "Ah, well, that's the spirit, but — maybe give it a rest with the killing? The knowing things are right and wrong, that's a good start, very circumspect! But, you know, it's important to recognize when things are wrong BEFORE you do them, and then not do them most of the time. You see what I'm saying? It's moral /and/ rational, since we don't want the Angel of Night to annihilate us."
  • Vauncey takes a swig from his flask and offers it to Nomen.
  • Nomen takes a nice swig.

<Nomen> "It's complicated…there's….there just are some things about me I lost long ago. I lost my name, you know that. And… given the rules of who I am. Of what makes me… me, I can end up losing part of my free will…if a mortal does something."

<Nomen> "And. I can't have that you know? It's almost all I have left. So… sometimes I kill them. So they never get the chance."

<Nomen> "It's funny. I made that… promise. No, it was more than a promise, much more than an oath too. It was a declaration of inevitability, yes. Because I believed in the mortals. And now, I wish to not follow on it…because I sacrificed so much to them already."

  • Vauncey screws the top back on the flask and slips it into his coat. "I do understand. I'm not the man I used to be myself, and sometimes I think about that. But you can't kill everyone who gets close to you, you know! There's taxes to be paid, and all that. I'll tell you what — how about you try to give it a rest with the evil at least until we've got this whole business with the death trial sorted out, and if all goes well we'll focus on taxing immortals for a bit."
  • Nomen sighs.

<Nomen> "Fine. One last chance to do the dance."

  • Sarabande does a dance.
  • Nomen touches the prison bars, and orders "OPEN!"

<Hollyhock God> The prison bars open.

<Hollyhock God> Actually I don't think they were ever locked.

<Hollyhock God> Nobody is really trying to escape.

<Nomen> "So. What do we know?"

<Sarabande> "Leave?"

<Darryl> That's the foundation of a solid plan, right there!

<Vauncey> "Well, I suppose we should be heading back. Everyone have a care if you see an irregular thing — it might be a trial!"

<Hollyhock God> Good plan!

<Hollyhock God> How do you propose to get back?

<Hollyhock God> For that matter, where are you?

<Sarabande> Bees are good at navigating back to their hives!

<Sarabande> I claim.

  • Sarabande attempts to use superior bee navigation skills to pinpoint their hive.

<Vauncey> I guess we're outside the prison.

<Vauncey> In the mwa town.

<Hollyhock God> Superior navigation is not cutting it.

<Hollyhock God> You have no idea where you are.

<Vauncey> Hmm.

<Nomen> I ask my Estate where is the closest night and calculate based on the current time and our distance from it to infer where in the planet we are

<Vauncey> Let's survey our surroundings!

<Vauncey> What does it look like?

<Hollyhock God> It looks rather like a standard American small town, but… wrong.

<Hollyhock God> The people are… they don't actually seem to be intelligent.

<Hollyhock God> It's like they bumble around town buying things and occasionally running into each other.

<Hollyhock God> Only the money talks.

<Hollyhock God> People with lots of money seem to be a bit less funky, but they still don't give you the impression of being sapient.

<Sarabande> How peculiar!

<Nomen> "We're in the IRS holding grounds."

<Hollyhock God> Meanwhile, it appears to be about five hours until nightfall, but…

<Hollyhock God> …this world isn't Earth.

<Nomen> "Or not."

<Hollyhock God> Nomen knows the feel of Earth's nights. They've got continents and things.

<Hollyhock God> These continents are completely different.

<Vauncey> "Should we try asking the money for directions?" A pause. "Ah, Nomen, why don't you sit this one out."

  • Vauncey approaches some of the money and asks for directions to Earth, very congenially.

<Vauncey> He's just a bit lost, as you can see, with his bee and wizard friends. And Darryl? Possibly Darryl is there.

<Hollyhock God> Yeah! Hey, Darryl!

<Hollyhock God> The money has never heard of Earth.

<Vauncey> I see. Quite a pickle!

<Darryl> "It's alright. I'm here!"

<Darryl> "Unfortunately I also do not know where 'here' is."

<Vauncey> "This is quite a bind, all right."

<Vauncey> How do we normally get to the Chancel from Earth? Perhaps we should try that.

<Hollyhock God> "Obviously this is Ofeili, the richest of all possible worlds," says the money. It clearly thinks you are a fool for not knowing this obvious fact.

<Sarabande> I think we enter our specific entrance.

<Hollyhock God> Usually you just fly, I guess, up to the door.

<Hollyhock God> In the bee-powered contrivance of the week.

<Sarabande> Hmmmmm.

<Sarabande> The Heavenly Bees pollinate the World Ash, right?

<Sarabande> So if this world is on the Ash, it's occasionally visited by them, right?

<Sarabande> Which would allow me to Converse with the Estate of Bees to see if they know where it is.

<Hollyhock God> I guess that makes sense.

<Hollyhock God> You are… an ungodly distance away from Earth.

<Hollyhock God> It will take approximately seven years for you to get back on foot.

<Vauncey> It's OK if it takes seven years as long as night doesn't fall in that period, right?

<Sarabande> Is this the bit where I exploit Aspect 3's timing woo…?

<Nomen> I think we only have one year.

<Sarabande> (God dammit I can't remember if "in the nick of time" is the least fast of its speeds or the middle one.)

<Darryl> "Seven years is impermissible. We should see if there is a method of extraordinary transit in this place.'

<Vauncey> "If worst comes to worst, we could turn ourselves into money and wire ourselves back. But after the last time, I'd rather not."

<Hollyhock God> I don't know that it's going to let you run a million miles in a year, either way. That's a bit out of scale.

<Sarabande> Mmm, fair.

<Darryl> "Ah! I've had a thought, chaps. If I were to audit Today of the planet Earth, I would clearly need to be there. Thus, something helpful to reach there rapidly should be in my briefcase."

<Nomen> "Perhaps we could invest all the money here, towards interstellar travel advancements?"

  • Darryl checks his briefcase.

<Hollyhock God> Hm, there's a travel pass here.

<Hollyhock God> It's good to allow one person through the "Grand Entryway."

  • Darryl takes out the pass and examines it.

<Darryl> "Anyone heard of a 'Grand Entryway'?"

<Vauncey> "I can't say that I have. Let's consult this street sign."

  • Vauncey is as good as his word!

<Hollyhock God> For conveniences' sake, the Grand Entryway is listed.

<Hollyhock God> The arrow points straight up.

<Hollyhock God> There does kind of seem to be a giant door a long way off in the sky.

<Sarabande> Hmmmm.

<Darryl> "I'm a little surprised that none of us spotted that."

<Sarabande> "Hmmmmmm."

<Hollyhock God> Is that a set of train tracks going up to it?

<Hollyhock God> Maybe several.

<Sarabande> "it admits one. I wonde if we can temporarily become one person by Cooperation…"

<Darryl> "Well, let's go to a train station and make sure the policies don't forbid it."

<Darryl> "It would be a shame to fuse into a single being of sublime widom and unmatched power only to discover that local regulations were one step ahead.'

<Sarabande> "Indeed."

<Hollyhock God> You find a train station.

<Hollyhock God> It appears that train tickets cost money.

  • Vauncey squints up at the sky door. "I must warn you, fellows, if we all become the same person, I hope you won't think differently of me. There are some things I haven't told you about myself." A pause. "Still, it seems like the best bet, doesn't it?"

<Darryl> "Well, we'll either have to attempt it or somehow honestly earn money."

<Sarabande> "Everyone is agreed that we need to become a gestalt entity, then."

<Darryl> "Let's give that a shot."

<Hollyhock God> So, you do that.

<Hollyhock God> Via Cooperation and some alcohol.

<Sarabande> :-D

<Hollyhock God> Let our Powers combine!

<Hollyhock God> Taxes!

<Hollyhock God> Audits!

<Hollyhock God> Cooperation!

<Hollyhock God> Nights!

<Hollyhock God> By your powers combined, I am… TAX-MAN!

<Sarabande> Tax-Man's wings buzz rapidly.

<Hollyhock God> Possessing all the powers of bureaucracy (and black holes).

<Hollyhock God> You stumble onto the train, being 25% unused to knees.

<Darryl> We assure the other passengers that everything is fine.

<Darryl> Wait, are there other passengers?

<Hollyhock God> Yes. They mwa-mwa at you.

<Vauncey> I hope this doesn't count as fare-dodging.

<Hollyhock God> It's a grey area.

<Nomen> Nothing seems to be wrong.

<Vauncey> All right, so far so good. Everybody act natural.

<Hollyhock God> So, you take the train along the great lacy track spiraling up into the sky, and find the station at the Great Entranceway.

<Hollyhock God> It seems to include a sort of giant market, and at the other end, the exit out through the sky and into the starry surface of the Ash.

<Darryl> This was a good plan.

<Darryl> We're well on our way and nothing could go wrong now!

<Vauncey> Do we have to take a different train from here? Let's check the connections.

<Hollyhock God> Out from here it's mostly wagon trains. A few chariots apparently owned by strange and possibly quite powerful people.

<Hollyhock God> It's quite a busy market and there seems to be a reasonable amount of interworld commerce.

<Hollyhock God> You can see a few Jotun and a party of formalwear from Dionyl.

<Darryl> Does it all appear to be in order?

<Hollyhock God> It's all been properly taxed by local authorities, yes.

<Hollyhock God> You can see the appropriate marks on all the crates and slaves and oxen.

<Darryl> The Tax-Man relaxes.

<Vauncey> It's nice to see everything in order for a change.

<Hollyhock God> I guess there's nothing to stop you from just wandering out onto the Ash if you like.

<Vauncey> Well, we're sort of in a hurry. Does the Tax-Man see any express rides back to Earth from here?

<Hollyhock God> Nnnope.

<Vauncey> Hmmm! Quite problematic.

<Darryl> Okay, what if we alter the Regulations so that something we're doing right now is illegal? That should cause giant swans to seek us out, and we can hitch a ride back!

<Nomen> Altering the regulations got you in trouble

<Hollyhock God> Also it would take the swans seven years to get here.

<Hollyhock God> Even assuming they can sense violations outside the Chancel.

<Hollyhock God> Which they probably can't or they'd be doing your jobs for you.

<Vauncey> It seems our best bet would either be to travel there without crossing the intervening space, or to somehow fit seven years into the time we have left.

<Darryl> Ordinarily I'd suggest we contact our friends, but I don't think we have any.

<Vauncey> Can Nomen teleport us again? I mean, can we teleport ourselves?

<Darryl> Maybe we should ask around to see if anybody here has a solution for sale.

<Nomen> I think the market is a test for one of us

<Hollyhock God> Well, you may have to pass it next week.

<Hollyhock God> I fear that Chuubo is demanding walkies on pain of my being nosed for another hour.

<Nomen> TO THE PAIN!

<Darryl> My heart cries out at Chuubo's plight.

<Darryl> Let us adjourn at once in his favor.

<Hollyhock God> Thank you.

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