Keeping Up With The Homo Sapiens, Part Four

<RandBrittain> Good evening!

<Uqbarian> So what time is it?

<RandBrittain> How does the 9PM time suit you, Ben? I never heard from you in the thread.

<Benhimself> Hmmm. A bit better than 8 PM, honestly, as far as getting sleep goes, but I worry about what we'd get done if we could only play an hour a day, since aren't there people who have to leave at ten?

<RandBrittain> I thought you were that person?

<RandBrittain> If it isn't you, it's someone who didn't go onto DST and presumably now has to leave at eleven.

<Benhimself> Mmmm, 11 is my absolute limit.

<RandBrittain> So I guess it's all good, but if eight would be better for anyone they should say so.

  • crusher_bob has joined #childrenofeve

<Uqbarian> Hi, Bob!

<crusher_bob> He…o.

<crusher_bob> So what time is it?

<crusher_bob> 9 PM ?

<RandBrittain> It's 9 PM!

<RandBrittain> So, I've been examining different PDF readers.

<crusher_bob> Thus we demonstrate the value of our expensive college educations, I'm sure.

<RandBrittain> Sumatra PDF seems very suitable!

<RandBrittain> Hm, how long should we wait on Nen?

<Uqbarian> I'm just getting some coffee.

  • Benhimself is finishing off breakfast, himself.

<Ebba> So did we want to do shopping or apple delivery first?

<Hollyhock God> A good question!

<Ebba> (Though Ebba was mostly suggesting shopping to keep you out of her hair while she does apple delivery.)

<Ebba> (Since she thinks it would complicate matters if Maliq's house were to burn down.)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Mmm, I'm still somewhat finishing off breakfast, but Ryan being a bit awkward and less talkative while doing 'normal' things like shopping isn't entirely out of the ordinary.)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (I'd suggest apple delivery if Nen were here. Marcus was planning on going, yes?)

<Hollyhock God> He was.

<Hollyhock God> So, shopping, then?

<Alexa> (I guess.)

<Ryan Sherbrig> "So, Alexa, where to?"

<Alexa> "Harrods."

<Hollyhock God> Shock!

<Ryan Sherbrig> "One of these days I really must go about using my unearthly godlike powers to establish myself some sort of bank account."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "I suppose I could just arrange something with the Cammora, if Entropy hasn't blacklisted us."

<Hollyhock God> Even if he did blacklist you, it wouldn't matter to the Cammora.

<Alexa> "We don't need to actually buy anything, though I've got my credit card."

<Hollyhock God> There should be an unearthly creature to summon that disrupts the relationship between supply and demand.

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Ah, window shopping. Like skimming through the Anomicon without actually summoning anything. Righto."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "It would be an entertaining opportunity to actually summon The Invisible Hand, but that'd take a few days, and be entirely unproductive in terms of our actual goal, here."

<Alexa> "It might come in handy some day."

<Hollyhock God> Is Harrods a likely spot for spontaneous miraculous doings, I wonder?

<Ryan Sherbrig> We'll find out!

<Alexa> (Where else would we go? W. H. Smiths?)

<Ryan Sherbrig> "If Harrods doesn't work out, of course, we should consider where else we want to go. Places of greater population density, maybe places where self-destructive potential is greater if the miraculous energies are indeed biased towards that."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "War zones, and the like, possibly."

<Alexa> "Like, London, say."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "London is a war zone these days? I have been out of touch."

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Feel free to interrupt us with our arrival at any time.)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Bombs raining down, the sound of gunfire, etc.)

<Hollyhock God> You'll have to tell me what you're doing.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Do we really need to establish how we get around every single time? Okay.)

<Alexa> "Flame on!"

<Ryan Sherbrig> "So how shall we travel? Plane? Grix? Elemental fli… aha. That answers that."

  • Ryan Sherbrig assists the growing number of UFO sighting cases.

<Hollyhock God> I really meant what you're doing in London.

<Hollyhock God> Amuse me!

<Alexa> A ball of fire lands in an abandoned industrial estate.

  • Ryan Sherbrig gleams down nearby.
  • Alexa deflames.

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Might as well walk the streets; we want to give this thing as many opportunities to work as we can."

<Alexa> "Yep. Let's turn it on."

  • Ryan Sherbrig (spends an AMP and) guises as a typical Londoner of no particular import.
  • Alexa points the detector at Ryan.

<Hollyhock God> "Guise. Dominus Ryan Sherbrig."

<Ryan Sherbrig> (I have my Grix pocketwatch and my 2 replacement Daughters of Night handily nearby in case of incident, okay?)

<Ebba> (Since Ryan is largely made up of from beyond-Creation-stuff these days, it should say something interesting…)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Actually, I guess the Daughters couldn't travel via elementalism. Feh.)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (I need more convenient bodyguards.)

<Alexa> "Right. Let's find a bus stop."

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Huh. Harrods has a pair of gem-encrusted shoes guarded by a live Egyptian cobra. That's… kind of awesome.)

<Hollyhock God> Really?

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Hmmm, looking at the applicable webpage, looks like it was just to celebrate the launch, not as a long-term solution.)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (My heart will always dream.)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (

<Hollyhock God> It can always still be there in Ash-tree Earth.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Yay!)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (The power of Awesome obviously has Constant Domain: Lesser Preservations.)

<Hollyhock God> Ryan looks upon the snake! Hiss!

  • Ryan Sherbrig smiles.

<Alexa> "But look at the shoes!"

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Very… sparkly."

<Hollyhock God> Hm, entertainment value is not arising naturally from the shopping scenario. I must draw it forth with a subquest!

<Hollyhock God> Marcus asked you to bring back some books!

<Hollyhock God> Choose wisely!

<Alexa> (

<Alexa> (He did? Or did you just make that up? If so, which books?)

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Oh, excellent. Back in my mortal days London was actually a place I had to go for books occasionally. I'm not sure if they're the type of books he'd want, mind you."

<Hollyhock God> You must choose!

<Alexa> "Let's see if they have 'Reincarnation for Dummies'."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "But it'd be nice to stop by the old repositories of forbidden knowledge. See if they're still around."

<Alexa> "Sure. Let's check W. H. Smiths first."

<Hollyhock God> To-may-to, To-mah-to?

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Yes, if you want boring books."

<Alexa> "Safe, Ryan."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "I'm sure Marcus is dying to know who Bella choses for a boyfriend."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "And what happens to Dumbledore."

<Alexa> "Ooh, good choice!"

<Hollyhock God> Can't you just get him the Bluray?

<Ryan Sherbrig> He asked for books!

<Ryan Sherbrig> So do we arrive at the bookstore without incident?

<Hollyhock God> Sure, why not?

<Hollyhock God> I'm kind of having a hard time thinking of a random miraculous incident.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (We could switch to apple delivery while you ponder.)

<Alexa> "I'm thinking I should get a Kindle."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Isn't that a kind of specter?"

<Ebba> (The miracle detector can fold out into a palmtop too.)

<Ebba> I'm thoughtful that way…

<Alexa> (Cool!)

<Hollyhock God> But is it compatible with Kindle DRM?

<Ryan Sherbrig> (That would requires transcendent alchemy, not just Imperial.)

<Alexa> "It was a pun, Ryan."

<Hollyhock God> Honestly, given that the miracle detector faultlessly records your transgressions, making it more useful is a bug, not a feature.

<Alexa> "Ooh, there is one!"

<Alexa> (

<Hollyhock God> Is it by Pindy Ora?

<Hollyhock God> If so, the advice might actually be helpful.

<Hollyhock God> Or maybe Dan Arpo.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Hmmm. Book details include "Paperback: 1 pages")

<Alexa> (By David Hammerman in our universe.)

<Alexa> (But weighing 1.5 pounds!)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (It's a very large page.)

<Hollyhock God> So you can take it with you.

<Alexa> "And let's pick up Dan Arpo's latest conspiracy thriller."

<Alexa> "'The Last Scarab', I think it's called. Huh."

<Hollyhock God> So that's why Pandora came back into Creation for an hour- to drop off her latest manuscript at the publisher!

<Alexa> (You can retcon that out, if you like.)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Test it for miracles!)

<Hollyhock God> "Beep. Incredibly poorly-written thriller. Inexplicably popular. No miraculous energy detected."

<Alexa> "He'll love it. Ryan, your turn to pick one."

  • Ryan Sherbrig looks around a bit, before settled on Borges: The Collected Works.

<Alexa> "Who?"

<Hollyhock God> Nice and cheerful!

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Jorge Luis Borges? You've never read his works?"

  • Alexa looks at the back.

<Alexa> "Looks too clever for me."

<Alexa> "Also, foreign."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Oooh, that's a good point. I'll have to find it in the original language for myself now that I can actually read that fluently."

<Hollyhock God> Racism! There's only one thing to do- summon an inanimate object that she won't be able to forget!

<Hollyhock God> Then she'll be sorry.

<Alexa> Heh. :)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (How easy it would be not to think of a tiger!)

<Hollyhock God> I guess I should do some plot now. Ping!

<Alexa> "Do you know if he's read any Agatha Christie?"

<Hollyhock God> Someone did a miracle… over that way!

<Alexa> "Oh, wait."

<Hollyhock God> About a mile to the north.

  • Alexa checks detector.

<Hollyhock God> You have to get closer!

<Alexa> (Ah. I was about to ask.)

  • Alexa takes her books to the counter.

<Alexa> "Sorry, forgot my purse. Could I just leave these with you, and we'll be back in an hour or so? Thanks."

<Alexa> "Shall we try a cab?"

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Certainly."

  • Alexa hails a cab.

<Hollyhock God> You race to the scene in a cab!

<Hollyhock God> Then you realize you have no paper money to pay the driver.

<Alexa> "Do you have EFTPOS?"

<Ryan Sherbrig> (We don't?)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (I mean, seriously, did the Phoenix drain our bank accounts upon enNobling us?)

<Hollyhock God> Well, you said you had a credit card. But fine.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Alternatively, I can just hit him with Glorious.)

<Hollyhock God> Alexa pays the man with something that totally isn't fairy gold.

<Ebba> (Bank accounts? )

<Hollyhock God> Then you find the scene of the crime!


<Hollyhock God> And a crime it seems to be. Your miracle detector leads you to an alleyway, in which you find the rapidly-cooling bodies of two men dressed in hooded sweatshirts and jeans.

<Hollyhock God> A few feet away you find what's left of their heads.

<Hollyhock God> "Ping. Miracle of Aspect (moderate). Unknown human. Detecting miraculous actor… actor found. Coordinates as follows."

<Alexa> "Yuck."

<Hollyhock God> The Cingularity gives you directions to a location a few blocks away.

<Alexa> "That way."

  • Ryan Sherbrig follows.

<Hollyhock God> You find the perpetrator in yet another alleyway, hiding behind a dumpster and hyperventilating. Her eyes are glassy and unfocused.

<Alexa> "Hello there. Are you alright?"

<Hollyhock God> She looks up at you blankly. I don't think she has an answer to that question.

<Ryan Sherbrig> In Tagalog or something obscure like that, "Does she still register as possessing miraculous capabilities?"

<Alexa> "Can you hear me?" *points detector*

<Hollyhock God> "Human. Female. No unusual readings."

<Hollyhock God> "Who are you?" asks the girl. She can't be twenty yet.

<Alexa> "I'm Alexa, and this is Ryan. We're here to help."

<Hollyhock God> "Oh."

<Alexa> "Can you tell me what happened?"

<Hollyhock God> "What?" she snaps. "Nothing happened! I wasn't there!"

<Hollyhock God> She seems to realize how stupid this sounds even as she says it.

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Oh. Our apologies. We'll have to go find the person it did happen to to explain everything and help deal with the consequences, then."

<Alexa> "We're not the cops, by the way."

<Hollyhock God> I think coaxing information out of this traumatized girl may require the use of MAGIC.

<Ebba> (You could try feeding her one of the apples. That'd certainly be helpful. :D )

<Alexa> (whispers) "Smile at her, Ryan."

<Alexa> (As in, try Gloriousness.)

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Fine."

  • Ryan Sherbrig checks to make sure nobody is walking past the alleyway, then assumes glorious elemental figure-of-light form. "Fear not, Child of the Light, for we are here only to help you."

<Hollyhock God> How shiny!

<Alexa> (Oh. I meant just look Gloriously impressive in human form. Oops!)

<Hollyhock God> Your stance of transfiguring joy overrides the part of the human brain that usually thinks about Problems.

<Hollyhock God> "Hi!" she says, pleasantly.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (I don't tell Alexa how to burn down things, she doesn't tell me how to be radiantly glorious.)

<Hollyhock God> "I'm sorry; what were you saying?"

<Ryan Sherbrig> "What transpired back in that alley?"

<Alexa> (Fair enough.)

<Hollyhock God> "Ah, right. It's a funny story, actually."

<Hollyhock God> "I was taking a shortcut home, and then somebody grabbed me and dragged me into an alley."

<Hollyhock God> "There were these two guys, and they said they were going to… well, never mind."

<Hollyhock God> "And then all of a sudden there was this moment of zen or something, and I knew I could move fast enough to get away."

<Hollyhock God> "And then I said to myself, wouldn't it be better if I punched them so hard their heads flew off? So I did."

<Hollyhock God> "Wow, when you put it like that, it's kind of disturbing."

<Hollyhock God> "Anyway, that's the story."

<Ebba> (So are there headless bodies in the alley too? And is the lady all Dragon-Age-looking? Punching someone's head off has got to be messy.)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (No, those two guys were the headless bodies we discovered earlier.)

<Alexa> "I take it this has never happened to you before?"

<Hollyhock God> One of the benefits of Aspect is precisely-controlled blood spatters so that your clothes stay clean!

<Hollyhock God> "No. No, I have never done that before. I have no explanation."

<Alexa> "And, if you'll forgive my asking this, are you on any prescription medication?"

  • Ryan Sherbrig would raise an eyebrow at Alexa if he currently had any.

<Hollyhock God> "No."

<Alexa> (Does the detector record its readings? Do we actually need to do anything at the moment other than find this sort of thing?)

<Hollyhock God> It records every miracle performed within its radius forever. It also records all the web-surfing you do on it forever.

<Alexa> "Good to know. Let's call it self-defence, but if this happens in the future, I strongly recommend running away first."

<Hollyhock God> "Well, I guess that would be the more pragmatic option. But what would happen to the next girl in the alley?"

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Human life must be protected. Please attempt nonlethal methods of discouraging such activities in the future."

<Alexa> "That's a good point. Remember you might not be able to do it next time."

  • Alexa thinks.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Hmmm. It would be interesting to have an eye follow her to see if she's more or less likely to channel such miraculous energies, if they weren't so blatant.)

<Hollyhock God> There's no law against this!

<Ryan Sherbrig> Yes, but having a glowing light-spirit follow her around would cause more trouble.

<Alexa> (turning away and whispering really, really softly) "Can you hear this?"

<Alexa> (Trying to whisper softly enough that she couldn't make it out without Aspect.)

<Hollyhock God> She doesn't respond, possibly because she can't hear you.

<Alexa> "I'm sorry, we've been rude. What's your name?"

<Hollyhock God> "You can call me Charlie. What's yours?"

<Alexa> "Alexa, and this is Ryan."

<Hollyhock God> "Hi! This is a funny place to meet people." She looks around at the alley, bemused.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (I have to be off, now. Thanks for game, everyone!)

<Hollyhock God> Next time: apple deliveries!

<Ebba> Well I guess we've now got ze proof that regular people are doing miracles

<Alexa> "You could probably do with a drink."

<Alexa> (Seeya, Ben!)

<Hollyhock God> Yes, yes, encourage the traumatized near-rape victim to drown her sorrows in booze.

<Hollyhock God> This will make it all better.

<Alexa> (Or a coffee, maybe?)

<Ebba> And what good would a miracle detector that remembers all your crimes be if it wasn't handy enough to want to keep around with you all the time? :D

<Hollyhock God> Admittedly normal therapy would ask inconvenient questions.

<Hollyhock God> There should be a therapist available for Nobles for these situations!

<Hollyhock God> If you have a problem; if no one else can help, and if you can find them, you can call the A-Team. The A stands for amnesia."

<Alexa> The Cammora might have a service. Though they're more likely to use MiB neuralisers or equivalent.

<Alexa> If they don't just use concrete blocks and waterways.

<Ebba> (Um, you could try calling the Worldshaper's answering machine? The really polite one.)

<Hollyhock God> E'jah builds worlds! Providing therapy is a different field altogether.

<Ebba> (Yes, but one of us miracled his answering machine once, IIRC to make it more polite, or something.

<Ebba> Didn't we?

<Alexa> (I thought we threatened it.)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Didn't E'jah have a person-rewriting machine, too?)

<Ebba> (That was Selim, Beta, and Maliq.)

<Hollyhock God> (That's Selim. And it's in beta!)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Aha. Anyway, off for reals now!)

<Hollyhock God> Good night, all, then.

<Uqbarian> Ciao!

<RandBrittain> Hm, I probably needed a more impressive miracle than that.

<RandBrittain> But you're probably lucky you found one at all!

<Uqbarian> I've forgotten what our objective was - were we just trying to find a miracle?

<Crusher_Bob> Yes, to present as proof to the upcoming convocation of the Light that humans were now doing miracles.

<Crusher_Bob> Since it was possible it was all a complex con job.

<RandBrittain> And to buy Ryan a hat.

<Uqbarian> Ryan can buy his own hat.

<RandBrittain> He'd pick the wrong one!

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