Story Eleven Nothing Can Possibly Go Wrong Part Five

<crusher_bob> was it set clock back 1 hour or something?

  • crusher_bob is now known as Ebba

<Ryan> That's later tonight, actually.

<Ryan> At least in the US.

<Fiona> daylight savings time is confusing

<Hollyhock God> It's odd, but you get more sunlight in your day.

<Fiona> it would be nicer if everyone used the same dates, though.

<Ryan> And, for us grave shifters, an hour of overtime!

<Hollyhock God> Do you play at work?

<Ryan> No, that's why I quit at 11 pm or so.

<Ryan> (IE, one hour)

<Hollyhock God> Quick, do something exciting!

  • Uqbarian has quit (Ping timeout)

<Hollyhock God> The Deceiver has escaped, but was singed by Monothaia's explodey.

<Hollyhock God> Only one burning footprint remained in the lava before it faded away in the tide.

<Ryan> "I don't think we'll be mentioning to Monothaia that her wrathful explosions are insufficiently destructive."

<Fiona> "no. probably not."

<Hollyhock God> Evidently it took off a Major.

<Hollyhock God> That's as destructive as a destructive force can actually be under the rules.

<Ryan> (It's still insufficient!)

<Ebba> (can't you use alchemy to make imperial level destructions?)

<Hollyhock God> I suppose, but there's still no precedent for an attack doing two deadlies;

<Ryan> "Regardless. We need to find Ebba. I shall go summon the Watcher to try finding out where she is. Try contacting the black ships and seeing if you can't impress upon them the urgency of the situation, as well as the fact that you're free from the artifact's influence now."

<Ebba> (and aren't I still in the bottom of the ocean?)

<Fiona> "Oh, right. Yes, I'll try that."

  • Fiona does not look optimistic.

<Ryan> (I'm trying to fix that! But first, maneuvering Fiona into taking the lead for a conversation!)

<Fiona> (How do we contact the black ships, anyway?)

<Hollyhock God> However.

<Ryan> (Poppies blooming on the deck spelling out "I'd like to talk"?)

<Hollyhock God> "Now what," says Hugh, arriving on shore. "You want I should eat you now?"

<Fiona> "No? It seems a deceiver got through your blockade too. we set the volcano on it, but it doesn't seem to be as dead as we'd like."

<Fiona> "So you might want to make sure it's not hiding in your fleet, smelling slightly of sulphur or something?"

<Hugh Rosewood> "Really, now."

<Hugh Rosewood> "Got proof?"

<Ryan> (The fact that Ebba isn't in our Chancel, and you'll have to admit that either we're right, or she managed to sneak past you and you were derelict in your duties?)

<Hollyhock God> Maybe she's invisible.

<Fiona> "We thought you had been keeping watch on what we were doing? One of our chancel-mates is missing, having been impersonated by this Deceiver."

<Fiona> "Also, for clarity, I am not the Deceiver, and I guess you should probably test that"

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<Uqbarian> (Dammit!)

  • Uqbarian is now known as Alexa

<Ryan> "This is preposterous! Stop eating Alexa's feet! Or the rest of her!"

<Ryan> (Oh, welcome back)

<Alexa> (Lost net access for no apparent reason.)

  • Fiona is talking to Hugh about Deceivers

<Alexa> (Did we catch the escaping shard?)

<Hugh Rosewood> "That's a fairly convenient excuse for you, isn't it? Claiming a Deceiver showed up is cover for all kinds of little irregularities."

<Hugh Rosewood> "Boys, search the island. We'll have to examine every nook and cranny to be sure the Lady Ebba is not here."

<Hollyhock God> Terribly smelly ogres burst off the black ship and begin running everywhere.

<Fiona> (isn't the island mostly lava right now?)

<Ryan> (Pretty much the entire chancel, yes)

<Fiona> "Honestly, I'd rather have Ebba back than have to worry about everyone being a Deceiver, but I don't really get to have that choice."

<Ebba> (Guess it's good I palmed of our irregular floating worldlet on someone else, isn't it? :D )

<Hollyhock God> "No doubt she's sipping tea somewhere and forgot about the time," says Hugh kindly.

<Hollyhock God> I pity the ogre who has to search the Astronomicon.

<Hollyhock God> Selim will talk them to death.

<Hollyhock God> And Gloria can kill every nimblejack in the Chancel rather handily.

<Ryan> ("So beautiful….. Oh wait, crap!")

<Hollyhock God> And with a proper stunt you can attack everything else at the same time!

<Hollyhock God> Anyway, ogres running off, smelling terrible, about to rummage through your sock drawers and magic circles and libraries.

<Hollyhock God> Where did you hide that scarab again?

<Fiona> (on Ryan)

<Ryan> "You may not want to break that summoning circle, there."

<Ryan> "I mean, it's entirely up to you."

<Hollyhock God> The ogre breaks it, apparently without meaning to!

<Ryan> "I don't really know if the Watcher eats ogres or not."

<Fiona> (Oops, too late. well, I hope you like being a frog.)

<Hollyhock God> Such is the ogre's plight.

<Hollyhock God> The Watcher effervesces into his skin.

<Hollyhock God> Eyes open everywhere!

<Ryan> "So. How are things?"

<Hollyhock God> "Howwww kiiiind of yoooooou to proviiiiiiide a corrrrporreal shelll!"

<Hollyhock God> The Watcher rips off your head and begins gnawing on your spine.

<Hollyhock God> Then it stops.

<Hollyhock God> "Apolllllogies. I sudddddenly wanted to doooooo that."

<Hollyhock God> Your bits glow back together.

<Ryan> "Quite all right. No damage done. Anyway, my sister Ebba has gone missing, replaced by a deciever. Where is she right now?"

<Ryan> (/me spends 2 SMP for compliance)

<Hollyhock God> The Watcher considers.

<Alexa> (And where's the Deceiver?)

<Hollyhock God> "Innn a box, beneath the deeepest recesses of the ocean. She slummmmmbers peacefully."

<Hollyhock God> Actually, can the Watcher even know that?

<Hollyhock God> Ebba's eyes are shut and nobody else can see her.

<Ryan> Presumably the Excrucian had eyes when it dropped her off.

<Ryan> Or maybe some fish noticed the box going down?

<Fiona> (Or ocean spirits?)

<Hollyhock God> It still wouldn't know where she is now.

<Ryan> Well, unless the box has legs and scuttles around the ocean floor, it'll give us a good idea of where to look.

<Alexa> (It might know the last person to see her, at least.)

<Hollyhock God> Yeah, she's down in the Mariana Trench somewhere.

<Hollyhock God> I assume that she'll wake up whenever Crusher thinks of something he wants to be doing in the main plot.

<Ryan> (Alexa, call up your new girlfriend! She can find the box easily enough.)

<Ryan> "Hmmm. I suppose that will be specific enough. Where is the Deceiver who was impersonating her?"

<Alexa> (Last I remember, Alexa was diving into the water to chase the escaping shard.)

<Ryan> ("Being set on fire by Alexa.")

<Hollyhock God> You didn't catch one! I guess water is not where your strong point lies, especially against invisible enemies with Aspect 5.

<Ebba> (Shouldn't I be found by a drunken college professor, and go on a rampage first?)

<Alexa> (Figures.)

<Hollyhock God> Now you're watching an ogre start pawing through your underwear.

<Hollyhock God> Set him on fire Y/N?

<Alexa> (N.)

<Alexa> (Prayer call to Ms. Water.)

<Fiona> (You might want new underwear, though)

<Hollyhock God> Karen manifests herself as a reflection on the seashore.

<Karen Chalcanth> "Alexa! What a lovely… magma…"

<Karen Chalcanth> "You must get a lovely growth in the summer."

  • Ryan Sherbrig sends Alexa a homunculus to say "Alexa! Contact the new Power of Water and see if you can't have her find Ebba. She's in a box in the Mariana Trench somewhere."

<Alexa> "Hi, Karen! We had a Deceiver break in. She got away into the sea. I don't know if you can track her."

  • Alexa pats the homunculus.

<Alexa> "But the shard apparently trapped Ebba in a box in the Mariana Trench. Could you help get her out?"

<Hollyhock God> Karen frowns.

<Karen Chalcanth> "I just can't keep that trench clean. People are always dropping things into it."

<Karen Chalcanth> "I don't see a box… oh! wait. There's a hole there; it must be an Auctoritas."

<Alexa> "Do they apologise afterwards?"

<Ryan> (Major Change to cause the trench to deposit anything dropped into it in the dropper's place of residence.)

<Hollyhock God> "Oh, they never do."

<Alexa> "I guess they aren't very trenchant."

<Alexa> "Sorry."

<Hollyhock God> Karen is too polite to wince.

<Hollyhock God> "That would be taxing to lift," notes Karen. "But it should be quite simple to shake it hard enough to try and wake Lady Ebba."

<Hollyhock God> Ebba, something is shaking you rather hard, as though someone had put you into a box, dropped it into the sea, and then started tossing you in every direction.

<Hollyhock God> Also, oh yeah, you're in a box.

<Alexa> "Yeah, she's pretty tough."

<Hollyhock God> Now how did that happen?

<Alexa> "Let's hope Ebba can think outside the box."

  • RyanSherbrig returns to the party.

<Ryan> "Hugh, you may want to stress caution with your men in situations involving summoning circles."

<Hugh Rosewood> "Ate a few, did it?"

<Ryan> (Watcher: "I ressssspectfullly disagreeeee.")

<Ryan> "As you say. So what would it take for you to actually acknowledge we've freed Fiona from the scarab's dread influence?"

<Ebba> Hmph, you young goddesses get woken up with a kiss, I have to settle for a right proper thrashing.

<Ryan> (Yes, but the prince in shining armor turned out to be Vesper)

<Hugh Rosewood> "Oh, only the most exacting proofs would do."

<Ryan> "Such as?"

<Alexa> (Prayer to Ebba) "Oh Most Resolute Lady, are you awake?"

<Hollyhock God> I still regret not being able to use the Blind Lie on Vesper.

<Hugh Rosewood> "Well, that's up to you, isn't it?"

<Ebba> Hrmph

<Ebba> "Ryan obviously wants you… "

<Ebba> "I seem to be a box somewhere. What did I miss?"

<Ryan> "Do you actually have any means of detecting Excrucian taint handy? Obviously you wouldn't trust any of ours."

<Alexa> "We think a Deciever kidnapped you; a shard turned up here in your form, but it got away. We're still under quarantine."

<Hugh Rosewood> "My nose tells me that you're hiding something. That's good enough for me."

<Ebba> (They keep going off when they get near Ryan, so they are obviously malfunctioning…)

<Alexa> "Can you break free?"

<Ryan> (That's just an awkward side effect of the High Summoning, pay it no mind.)

<Ryan> "Hrmph."

<Ebba> "Since I seem to be outside the quarantine, is there anything you need done?"

<Ryan> "I would just give you the scarab, but I'm not sure it's safer if you get corrupted by Excrucian taint than if Fiona or myself were."

<Alexa> "Can you get me some new underwear?"

<Hugh Rosewood> "Oh, so you have it now? I could believe that."

<Hugh Rosewood> "I could very easily believe that."

<Hollyhock God> You should have told them the Deceiver took it!

<Alexa> (Bravo, Ryan!)

<Ryan> "As I said, we successfully removed it from Fiona's person, and I was merely safekeeping it until we figured out what to do with it."

<Fiona> (on the up side, I'm pretty sure Hugh can't eat Ryan, so there's that, at least.)

<Alexa> "Only joking. I just want you back here and safe, Ebs. I'm worried the Deciever might be en route to your location to finish you off."

<Ebba> (I shall begin capturing the spiders required to weave the silk immediately!)

<Alexa> (To Karen) "Can you spot any unusual activity that might indicate something fast, invisible and really really sneaky on its way towards the Trench?

<Alexa> "It's a long shot."

<Hollyhock God> "Umm…. no," says Karen.

<Alexa> "That's okay. She'll probably be doing what we least expect…"

<Alexa> (Hmm. Are we sure Hugh is Hugh? ;))

<Hollyhock God> "Perhaps," says Hugh, "you'll be able to resist its dark power. But personally I hope the Horseman take you and I eat you myself."

<Hollyhock God> He smells like Hugh, that's for sure.

<Alexa> (Can Ebba break free on her own?)

<Hollyhock God> Sure, it's just a box, now that the drugs are wearing off.

<Ryan> "So…. you're fine with me having it, then, as long as it's not Fiona?"

<Hugh Rosewood> "I admit, you'd be more enjoyable to murder."

<Hugh Rosewood> "I suspect you'd be delicious with ketchup."

<Ebba> (Dear Vesper, the lady Alexa is in need of new underwear, and she would be honored if you would assist her in choosing … )

<Ryan> "I only hope if such an eventuality comes to pass I make it very satisfying indeed."

<Hugh Rosewood> "Well, there we are, then."

<Hollyhock God> And so he goes.

<Ryan> (Puts Hugh on his list, right after the First Lord and Vesper)

<Ebba> Guess I'd better get out of this box and do something useful.

<Hollyhock God> What, just for wanting to eat you? How unsympathetic!

  • Fiona has quit (Ping timeout)

<Alexa> (For Hugh, that's probably friendly!)

<Ryan> (And, what, do the Black Ships fly off or something?)

<Ebba> (have to clean out my coffee cup, brb)

<Hollyhock God> They keep circling.

<Hollyhock God> You still have like three more days of quarantine before E'jah brings his remedy.

<Hollyhock God> If he's still alive, I mean.

<Ebba> (hmm?)

<Alexa> (Maybe they're all dead!)

<Hollyhock God> Well, Gloria you know was injured.

<Hollyhock God> No further details available.

<Alexa> (Assuming that message was genuine!)

<Ebba> Well, when I was evil none of them seemed to be answering the prayer phone.

<Ebba> But that could have just been because I was evil.

<Hollyhock God> Untrustworthy Ebba!

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<borogove> (so, it turns out that phone calls currently disrupt my internet connection)

<Hollyhock God> Do you use a modem?

<Ebba> Of course, if you have two Deceivers, you have the undiscovered one replace the discovered one.

<Ebba> No one would ever suspect!

<borogove> (no. current theory: dodgy router. it's a recent problem.)

  • Alexa has quit (Ping timeout)
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  • Uqbarian is now known as Alexa

<Alexa> (Looks like I'm having phone trouble too.)

<Hollyhock God> That's why I started using a router with DD-WRT and my own cable modem.

<Ryan> (I have to be off for work now, anyway. Thanks for game, all! Hopefully we can beat the rap next session, at least.)

<Ebba> Yay, I am unwrapped. Just in time for christmas related advertising :(

<Alexa> Yep, I'll duck out and try to sort out this connection.

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