Story Eleven- Nothing Can Possibly Go Wrong, Part Three

<Hollyhock God> So I think you discovered a body?

<Ryan Sherbrig> (/me laughs at the art notes: "A Noble female's breasts are invariably smaller than her head. Even if you think of an exception, don't draw her.")

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Hmmm. This body troubles me."

<Ebba> and a dead imp, who ryan sucked up into a pearl, or somethign

<Ryan Sherbrig> "As the fact that somebody or something killed her."

<Ebba> and Alexa called our volcano a stupid cow

<Ryan Sherbrig> "And my sudden need to recount events that happened a few minutes ago."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Apologies, High Summoning occasionally distorts my temporal senses."

<Hollyhock God> The question is, what shall you do?

<Ryan Sherbrig> Alert our armies of miraculous soldiers to remain on high alert!

<Ebba> um, I'm sure I had an evil plan

<Ebba> just need to remember what it was

<Ryan Sherbrig> And wait for any response from the black fleet for our whole "Hey, an Excrucian-Shard just popped up in our chancel, weren't you guys kind of watching the borders?"

<Ryan Sherbrig> "BTW she's dead"

<Ebba> also think one of you was complaining to entropy's fleet

<Hollyhock God> I think Alexa did that.

<Ryan Sherbrig> That was Alexa, yeah.

<Ryan Sherbrig> Didn't you call E'Jah and co to let them know Montessa had been found?

<Hollyhock God> Ah, well. I guess they'll have to show up in person, then.

<Ryan Sherbrig> "You should come and check it out OH WAIT QUARANTINE"

<Ebba> no answer on the prayer phone

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Not that I'm still bitter."

<Ebba> and no answer from Wanda either, when we tried to get her for something

<Hollyhock God> I am glad that you are not bitter.

<Ebba> (was it wanda?)

<Hollyhock God> A black ship requests entry!

  • RyanSherbrig gestures dramatically, opening the doors.

<Ryan Sherbrig> 'Doors'.

<Hollyhock God> It slides ominously inward.

<Hollyhock God> A hulking figure awaits you.

<Hollyhock God> Nothing wearing such a sharp suit should be able to smell so bad, but he does.

  • RyanSherbrig discreetly preserves the air around him from hostile stench.

<Ebba> that is now my daddy! it is foul ole ron

<Hollyhock God> "The name is Rosewood," says the ogre. "What's this you've brought in now?"

  • RyanSherbrig claps his hands, summoning many-armed lackeys to bring the body forth.

<Ryan Sherbrig> "The Shard Montessa appeared in our chancel, already having suffered a mortal wound of unknown origins."

<Hollyhock God> "Ah," says Hugh. "Excrucian."

<Hollyhock God> "Just like cockroaches or policemen; they get in everywhere."

<Hollyhock God> "You should keep a sterner eye out. If Excrucian blood spills into the ocean, you'll attract the merrows."

<Hollyhock God> "It calls to them, you know. You didn't kill her?"

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Unfortunate. I've heard they taste awful."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Regrettably, no."

<Hollyhock God> "Was it the one we're guarding, then? They can act erratically while the change is on them"

<Ryan Sherbrig> "We've also been unable to determine if she died by her own hands, or we have some mysterious and unknown vigilante running around the chancel."

  • RyanSherbrig raises an eyebrow.

<Ebba> (major creation of batman)

<Ryan Sherbrig> "E'jah didn't inform you why he thought it necessary to sequester us?"

<Ryan Sherbrig> ("And you went along with it without asking questions? Damn, the guy has more pull than I realized.")

<Hollyhock God> "I was told one of you was stuck to some black talisman and was being warped into the service of Unbeing e'en as we speak."

<Hollyhock God> "That's what he said.

<Hollyhock God> "That's what he said."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Aha."

<Hollyhock God> Hugh eyes Fiona suspiciously.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Fiona remains safely OOC)

<Ryan Sherbrig> "No, sadly, this was not her."

  • borogove will be back shortly. is currently cleaning up spilt drink. may have to find a new chair.

<Ebba> (huh, it's sad that its' not fiona with her neck broken?)

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Not sadly because I wish to see my sister dead. Sadly because Montessa's death freeing us would make things convenient."

<Hollyhock God> "Huh."

<Hollyhock God> "If that's true, it looks to me like you've let things get completely out of your control."

<Ebba> "would you like some tea? or are you only going to be here for a little while?"

<Hollyhock God> "Lord Entropy will not be pleased. Yes, tea would be quite fine."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "How so? As you say, Excrucians get everywhere. It can hardly be our fault that this one entered. Especially as we had every reason to believe our borders were being securely watched."

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Hmmm. Wait, she did die in the ocean, didn't she?)

<Hollyhock God> She died on the shore.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Aha, okay. I wasn't sure where exactly Alexa found her on her swim.)

<Hollyhock God> "And if a shard dies on your beach and explodes in acid and fire, that won't be your fault, either?"

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Unless we invited her in and killed her, I wouldn't think so."

<Hollyhock God> "I doubt his Lordship will agree."

<Hollyhock God> I have having trouble selling anyone on the menace of this threat.

  • HollyhockGod ups the ante!

<Ryan Sherbrig> (I am a Tempest in my chancel! I am cocky and headstrong!)

<Hollyhock God> "It seems to me," says Hugh, "as I ought to recommend that his Lordship make an example of this lady before she goes all explosive and awful.

<Hollyhock God> "Seems like the safest course."

<Ebba> (E'jah did say he was working on a solution, which would be ready in a few days)

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Surely that won't be necessary. We can trust E'Jah, master Alchemist, to arrive at a solution in time."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "And I'm sure the paperwork to submit a report must be a pain. If only there was some simpler way…"

  • borogove is now known as Fiona

<Hollyhock God> Hugh shrugs. "Well, on your own head be it."

<Hollyhock God> He departs, having failed to impress anybody.

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Let us speak plainly. Lord Entropy and all who work for him find justice only when convenient for themselves. What would it take for you to find this inconvenient?"

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Awww, I was just about to get to the bargaining.)

<Hollyhock God> You didn't seem to care enough to make it interesting!

<Ryan Sherbrig> (I was waiting for him to tell us what he wanted!)

<Ebba> if he's gone, I guess it;s time for tea with our volcano

<Ryan Sherbrig> (I can't just bribe him with a pet puppy-dog. He might be allergic!)

<Hollyhock God> Or he might not be hungry.

<Ebba> don't need another wave of searing fire right now

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Hmph. Impatient."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "His loss. It's not as if we're here on earth to appease the Locust Court or anything."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "In fact, I feel we've grown far too distracted by all these… well, distractions from our main purpose."

<Hollyhock God> What with not being able to run a Is Fiona Evil plot, this story is kind of lacking in oomph. I feel guilty.

<Hollyhock God> I would offer to just move on to the next story, but it was an Alexa plot.

<Fiona> Fiona could be evil, but it's not like anyone would notice.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (We could use an Ebba plot! We haven't had one of those in a while.)

<Hollyhock God> Last time I gave Ebba plot she nearly destroyed the world!

<Hollyhock God> Also technically the moon story was Ebba plot.

<Ryan Sherbrig> "What powers, exactly, does that Focus everyone is so worried about contain?"

<Ebba> righto I'll come up with my next plan to destory the world

<Hollyhock God> Domain over Transformation and the Negative Gift.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (I was asking Fiona IC)

<Fiona> transformation, and also something else. possibly not a normal gift?

<Fiona> ""

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Oh, really?"

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Can you tell which one?"

<Fiona> "well, I'm not about to test it out…"

<Ryan Sherbrig> "May I? I have a bit of experience with external energies, after all."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "We can also test if it's bonded to you, specifically, or any Noble who happens to pick it up."

  • Fiona hands ryan the evil scarab of death

<Ebba> best plan ever!

  • RyanSherbrig takes it!

<Hollyhock God> The scarab senses a better target for its corruption plotline and latches on forever1

<Hollyhock God> Ryan, you feel flush with power!

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Perhaps by passing it around we can delay the inevitable corruption for long enough to get some use out of it in our quest against the Sable- Oh. Oh my. That's… a bit more Transformation than I anticipated."

<Hollyhock God> Possibly even enough power… to kill a god!

<Ryan Sherbrig> Possibly!

<Hollyhock God> Maybe it would just kill him a little bit.

<Ryan Sherbrig> Only one way to find out!

  • RyanSherbrig blinks a bit.

<Hollyhock God> And Domain 5 is a nice boost as well.

<Ryan Sherbrig> I thought it was 6? Not that I'd be looking 5 in the teeth.

<Ryan Sherbrig> Maybe it's only 6 for Fiona.

<Hollyhock God> Don't get all corrupt and gooey now!

<Hollyhock God> It's 5. Don't be greedy! Honestly I kept changing it to find something tempting-like.

<Ryan Sherbrig> All righty.

<Fiona> (Fiona, being fairly resistant to corruption and also somewhat naive, does not suspect ryan of being any easier to corrupt)

<Hollyhock God> Having run out of plot, the only thing left to do is EXPERIMENT.

<Ryan Sherbrig> "As I was saying. We've been distracted by things for too long. The Sable Gardens' corruption at the hands of the Dark remain an affront to all humanity!"

<Ryan Sherbrig> "And now that I investigate this, it appears that it does, in fact, possess the potential to slay the unslayable. Which means we may have a limited window to act upon it before the authorities grow too insistent."

<Hollyhock God> Oh?

<Ryan Sherbrig> "What say you two? Are you prepared to take a stand and finally bring the battle to the very origin of the Dark?"

<Ryan Sherbrig> ("And I suppose we'll ask Alexa when she's back from having the sniffles from that midnight swim")

<Fiona> "perhaps?"

<Fiona> "if we have a plan of some sort?"

<Fiona> "and Alexa agrees."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "honestly, my plan consisted of storming the gates with my various allies from beyond, calling out the First Lord, and then surprising him with the Negative Gift, in addition to the Ebba and Alexa's prowess in violence."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Your own estate remains versatile enough to help deal with any tricks the gardens themselves might throw at us."

<Fiona> "that kind of seems like a terrible plan. but maybe I'm wrong?"

<Ryan Sherbrig> "When has subtlety ever worked for us?"

<Hollyhock God> (On 100% of the times it got the chance)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Also, 0%!)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Unless there's a time I'm forgetting.)

<Ebba> hmm, threatening vesper seems to have worked

<Ebba> that was subtle

<Ebba> and in our first ghost story thing, we didn't blow up the city or anything

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Threats are the opposite of subtle! Vesper is just fickle-minded and easily distracted."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "I remain open to actual suggestions as to an alternative plans, however, rather than vague critiques of my own."

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Fiona, could you open up some sort of… flower gateway, allowing us to penetrate the Gardens without taking the main gate?"

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Changing the nature of flowers, perhaps in a major way?)

<Fiona> (at the moment, no. but one character point later, yes)

<Fiona> (or a major change, I guess)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (That's what I was thinking. You're a regal you can do such things without a word of command.)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Hmmm, alternatively, could a sufficiently powerful miracle of Realm open up an inter-chancel gateway?)

<Hollyhock God> That wasn't subtle at all!

<Hollyhock God> No.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Those two-way enemy gates have to get created somehow. Although 'by Imperial miracle' is… ah, okay.)

<Hollyhock God> Huh, IRC is screwy tonight. I keep talkng in multiple parts.

<Fiona> (we could ask Phoenix nicely)

<Hollyhock God> Still raises the question of what you'd do once you got it.

<Ryan Sherbrig> Barge in all call the First Lord out!

<Fiona> (do we want to actually continue this conversation without uqbarian being here?)

<Ryan Sherbrig> Yeah, full war planning would be better with the full group.

<Ryan Sherbrig> Alternatively, full Ryan's-Plans-Intervention.

<Hollyhock God> I really meant "once you have the gardens."

<Ryan Sherbrig> Oh.

<Ryan Sherbrig> Um. Victory Tea?

<Ryan Sherbrig> That's for the Phoenix to decide! She didn't give us orders for what to do AFTER we did the impossible.

<Hollyhock God> And you'd invite the rest of the Dark, would you?

<Fiona> find those bits of causus-whatsits and try to bargain with them into some sort of safety?

<Ryan Sherbrig> Major Preservation of Flowering to heal the wounded gardens, and citric immortality for all!

<Hollyhock God> Well, anyway, you retreat to your laboratory to experiment with your new best friend under controlled conditions!

<Ryan Sherbrig> I /am/ fine if you guys want to talk Ryan into waiting a bit more.

<Hollyhock God> You find a note addressed to you.

  • RyanSherbrig reads it!

<Fiona> (is it from your girl?)

<Hollyhock God> "Ryan," it says "You seem to lead a life of constant adventure, but I wish you stayed away from the Dark Horsemen. Here's a gift that may help Lady Fiona protect herself. Wrap it around the nasty thing and it should provide an effective barrier. EE."

<Hollyhock God> Attached to the note is a length of white ribbon.

<Ebba> (so she did spend her points on something)

<Fiona> (so, no then. it's from ebba's boy instead.)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (It's obviously from Elizabeth! So many romantic interests to keep straight.)

<Hollyhock God> E'jah would be EC.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Unless E'Jah has a last name he's keeping secret.)

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Hmmm."

<Hollyhock God> His last name is C'mi'c'l.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Comical?)

<Hollyhock God> For reference, before he self-condensed it was Elijah Carmichael.

<Hollyhock God> I read it as "kuh-MEE-kul," but whatever.

  • RyanSherbrig considers the ribbon, and the ominous scarab of power and doom, for a few moments.

<Hollyhock God> Apparently Elizabeth Eliza reworked her character sheet after seeing the new sempstry gifts.

<Ebba> guess I should take a look at the book like thing

<Ebba> what's in it?

<Hollyhock God> Which thing was that?

<Ryan Sherbrig> (The next SoF supplement?)

<Ebba> Creatures, Clothed in Strangeness

<Hollyhock God> Oh, I see.

<Ryan Sherbrig> "Perhaps… after we've saved humanity."

<Ryan Sherbrig> (I'm willing to call it there so we can start off discussing things with Alexa next time.)

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Unless other people want to discuss things IC, but that's all I've really got planned for Ryan. Should think of some new Summons for Operation Corrective Gardening, too.)

<Hollyhock God> It looks as though plot may be in danger of happening!

<Fiona> I'm in favour of waiting for uqbarian

<Fiona> is he going to be available next week, though? if not, do we want to take that week off?

<Hollyhock God> He won't be, so we probably will.

<Fiona> ok.

<Ryan Sherbrig> (Plot next week: With Ryan unawares, Ebba and Fiona discuss how to take him out.)

<Hollyhock God> Troublesome!

<Hollyhock God> Will I actually have to figure out who the First Lord's Powers are now?

<Ryan Sherbrig> ("But he's immortal! All my punching is useless!" "Wait, I've got something can deal with Immortal… oh, wait. Whoops.")

<Hollyhock God> He seems so Dark Lordy that I've never really found a good concept for him.

<Ryan Sherbrig> 0s in all attributes and no gifts would be the easiest way to go!

<Fiona> I second that motion

<Ryan Sherbrig> And completely unexpected. What a twist!

<Hollyhock God> As the incarnation of humanity's self-destructive impulses, he's naturally incompetent.

<Hollyhock God> Of course then technically the campaign is over.

<Ryan Sherbrig> We could start a new one! I'll HG. Running a basic Nobilis sandbox on IRC would be fun.

<Ryan Sherbrig> Mind you, I'd be happy if this one continued for a while, too.

<Hollyhock God> That's why you need a healthy base of allies before you start the endgame sequence!

<Hollyhock God> First you need to seduce Elizabeth harder so she'll think your ideas are good.

<Hollyhock God> Once you have her, her crazy Siblings will fall in line- they aren't hard to manipulate!

<Hollyhock God> Anyway, you gotta defeat your current nemesis before you can unlock the final boss.

<Hollyhock God> You've seemed to enjoy Maliq so far.

<Ryan Sherbrig> 'Hey, Thorpe, we need to go be unnecessarily violent.' '*enthusiastic nodding*

<Ryan Sherbrig> Lukas: "That's insane!" Ryan: "And?"

<Hollyhock God> "Ah, so."

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