<Ebba> Last time, we were considering what to bribe the judge with, if anything.
<HollyhockGod> Ah, so!
<Ebba> And our mouthy friend was not able to provide any hints.
<RyanSherbrig> I had a 'list of information about certain powers of the Dark Meon might find interesting', gleaned from the last few moments of my session with the Divinibot.
<HollyhockGod> "Maliq Ristani, Domina Invidiae, likes to watch the program known as "Passions" in secret."
<RyanSherbrig> Obviously a sign of a depraved mind that will stop at nothing to see humanity in ruin.
<RyanSherbrig> Soap Operas are nothing but testaments to mankind's ability to destroy itself.
<HollyhockGod> That is actually on the list, by the by.
<Alexa> Alexa votes for telling the truth rather than attempting bribes, by the way. But I take it that ship has sailed?
<HollyhockGod> Not having introduced any other Dark Powers, I find myself having trouble thinking of things to add!
<RyanSherbrig> It's okay if we don't have specifics.
<RyanSherbrig> Bribes help the truth find its way!
<Ebba> If you can still see this, just got hit with a computer problem.
<Fiona> (Well, we were kind of going to go with both. Apparently the judge is both unconcerned with truth, and really dislikes pirate-girl.)
<RyanSherbrig> Yup, can still see it.
<RyanSherbrig> (I almost had Meon, in my PbP game, pull out the "All the Darkest Lord requires is this: a token offering of submission to the will of Entropy" line.)
<HollyhockGod> Token, nothing.
<HollyhockGod> First-born child or go home.
<RyanSherbrig> (Which I decided is how he rolls in my canon, it's not about getting cool stuff, it's about getting people to give him stuff.)
<RyanSherbrig> (Right. Alexa! Find somebody to shack up with! We're going to need some kids.)
<RyanSherbrig> (Alternatively, we do still have the worldlet.)
<RyanSherbrig> (That's sort of Ebba's firstborn, right?)
<Alexa> (Why can't you shack up with someone?)
<RyanSherbrig> "Wait, Ebba! I was joking!"
<HollyhockGod> Ebba already sold her firstborn.
<HollyhockGod> And evidently it killed her!
<HollyhockGod> So, do you have anything to sway the court besides some juicy blackmail?
<HollyhockGod> Perhaps a winning argument?
<HollyhockGod> An impassioned defense?
<Alexa> I'll say I don't think she did it.
<Alexa> A character witness, I guess?
<RyanSherbrig> We… um… know that's kind of not true.
<RyanSherbrig> She was tricked into doing it, though.
<Alexa> Do we?
<Alexa> Oh, sorry, yeah.
<HollyhockGod> Uq missed last week.
<HollyhockGod> But it's all on the wiki.
<RyanSherbrig> Well, the Watcher told us as much. Ata-Deceiver dude took the form of Water, attacked Melangell, then vanished leaving the real Anna to suffer the counterattack.
<RyanSherbrig> Thus, sentencing Melangell would be playing right into Deciever hands!
<HollyhockGod> Justice does not bow to practicality!
<HollyhockGod> Incidentally, his name was Calias Ataulph.
<RyanSherbrig> I'm not sure if we ever actually learned that. Although I suppose the Watcher might have mentioned it.
<Alexa> Yep, the Watcher gave the name.
<Alexa> "Does the Court recognise degrees of murder?"
<RyanSherbrig> "When convenient for the court to do so, I imagine."
<HollyhockGod> Not really in the way you mean.
<Alexa> "Because it seems to me that Melangell committed manslaughter at best; Ataulph was the real instigator."
<HollyhockGod> "Things big enough for us to care about" and "things we don't care about."
<Alexa> "So if we could offer Ataulph to the court as an alternative defendant…"
<RyanSherbrig> "Yes. Let us bring a Deceiver proven to have mastery of the Blind Lie to the Locust Court."
<RyanSherbrig> ("I'm innocent!" "How strange, all the witnesses have stopped giving testimony.")
<HollyhockGod> There's no law against it!
<Alexa> "Of course, we'd have to find him first."
<HollyhockGod> The Code does not presume Excrucians to be guilty.
<RyanSherbrig> (Whose has the best Auctoritas? Fiona?)
<HollyhockGod> That's so.
<RyanSherbrig> "Fiona? Why don't you hold onto these papers for now, to hopefully help prevent the information from being given away too early?"
<RyanSherbrig> "I'll try to summon the Shroud, but don't know how long we have before we're summoned ourselves."
<RyanSherbrig> (That was the living mist that did greater-destructions-of-perceptibility of itself and other things, as commanded.)
<HollyhockGod> Remind me of the Shroud's capabilities.
<RyanSherbrig> (And I think it had Spirit 2 or 3?)
<HollyhockGod> Ah, you predict my thoughts!
<RyanSherbrig> I really should just rewrite up all my summons from scratch for reference in the new(ish) OOC thread.)
<HollyhockGod> Yes, yes.
<HollyhockGod> So, anything else you wanted to do?
- crusher_bob has joined #childrenofeve
- crusher_bob is now known as Ebba
<Ebba> (We'll see how long this lasts.)
<Alexa> (Hey, bob!)
<HollyhockGod> So Meon says, "Very well, then, I shall pass judgement on you, Alexa Fortis, in place of the defendant."
<HollyhockGod> "Your punishment shall be as follows!"
<Alexa> "Free pizza for a month!"
<HollyhockGod> So, you all go to the Locust Court later that week.
<RyanSherbrig> (Oh no? How did he know Alexa had been sworn to accept hospitality, and yet is allergic to cheese?)
<HollyhockGod> Grim! Scary! Architecture! Bugs!
<Ebba> We were going to try the 'telling the truth' tactic?
<HollyhockGod> The banner of Entropy is lowered over the banner of Medan.
<Alexa> (I reckon so. But we also have the dirt file?)
<HollyhockGod> Melangell is lowered from the ceiling, in chains.
<HollyhockGod> She isn't moving.
<HollyhockGod> In the throne of the prosecutor sits Deuteronomy, the Judge of Guilt.
<HollyhockGod> Marley Barliman rises from the (smaller) chair of the defender to greet you.
<HollyhockGod> "Thought I should thank you kids for coming down to help us out," she tells you, nodding. "Rhys asked me to serve as public defender for this trial. He's a good kid, but he's out of his depth when it comes to politics."
<Ebba> (Isn't that the Power of Faith?)
<Alexa> "Any quick tips on how we should handle this?"
<RyanSherbrig> (Or is 'defender' the one defending Anna's interests?)
<HollyhockGod> She's the lawyer for the defendant, Melangell.
<Ebba> (So does she already know what we know?)
<HollyhockGod> (If you would like to have told her.)
<RyanSherbrig> "It's a pleasure to meet you again. Although I must say the party had a nicer ambiance."
<Alexa> (I think we ought to.)
<HollyhockGod> "As always, it's going to be up to the whimsy of the Court, so we'll be playing by ear."
<HollyhockGod> "I trust you. I have to."
<HollyhockGod> Ryan, a tearful Elizabeth Eliza gives you a long, silent look from across the court before turning her face away.
<Alexa> "Well, we reckon she did it, but she was tricked."
* Meon has joined #childrenofeve
<HollyhockGod> Let's just assume you explained it all in the past.
<HollyhockGod> Minimizing exposition is important.
<RyanSherbrig> (Rand sockpuppet, or is there a guest star playing Meon tonight?)
<Meon> You will be seated now.
* Alexa sits.
* Ebba sits
<HollyhockGod> A god never reveals his secrets! Although his IP probably will.
* Fiona is seated
* RyanSherbrig sits in a calm and dignified manner.
* Marley has joined #childrenofeve
<Meon> The Locust Court is now in session. I will preside over this meeting in the name of the Council of Four.
<Meon> The defendant, Melangell Thorpe, Duchess of Fortune and the Four Winds, stands charged with the slaying of Anna Beauregarde, the Water's-Regal.
<Meon> Such a crime is subject to punishment worse than death, at the discretion of the court.
<Meon> Standing for the Imperial Throne is Deuteronomy, Judge of the Guilty.
<Meon> Representing the accused is Marley Barliman, Death's-Regal.
<Meon> The prosecution may now call its first witness.
<HollyhockGod> The persecutor rises!
<Deuteronomy> I call Ryan Sherbrig, Dominus Nitorus, to the stand.
<Alexa> (Who else is in the court today, by the way? Do we have an audience?)
* RyanSherbrig gets up and takes the stand.
<HollyhockGod> Bertha, Rhys, Equity (a goblin man), Elizabeth Eliza, Lukas, Gloria, Maliq, and some other people. Also ogres and Cossets and things.
<Deuteronomy> Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and only the truth, on pain of death and more than death?
<RyanSherbrig> ("Truth and death are meaningless to one such as I who has mastered the secrets from beyond Creation!")
* Deuteronomy doesn't believe you.
<Deuteronomy> Very well.
<RyanSherbrig> ("Although I fail to see why you have to threaten Marley.")
* RyanSherbrig may be thinking of saying these things, if there's any spooky Nobilis mind-reading tricks in court.
<Deuteronomy> Where were you seven days ago, on the hour of the Water's-Regal's death?
<Ebba> (there the imperator property, isn't there? that lets you see if someone is lying)
<Ebba> (unless they have soul twisted, anyway)
<RyanSherbrig> "Washington D.C, assisting Thorpe's familia in thwarting an Excrucian attack on Fortune's estate."
<Deuteronomy> Were you present when the body was discovered?
<RyanSherbrig> "No. We arrived on the ship after Baalhermon did."
<Deuteronomy> Had you previously seen the accused and victim together?
<RyanSherbrig> "Yes. There was an incident involving cannon-fire and merfolk cabana-boys at Anna's summer home in (correct location)."
<Deuteronomy> A violent incident?
<RyanSherbrig> "It's difficult to say. Cannonfire isn't that serious a threat to beings such as us. But it could certainly have been interpreted that way."
<Deuteronomy> Would you say that the cannons were somehow not hostile?
<Ebba> (we see you're also failing to mention the part where she cut of alexa's head)
<RyanSherbrig> "Oh, no. But I'm uncertain if the intent was to actually kill Anna, or merely interrupt her vacation. As I recall, she did end the incident unharmed."
<RyanSherbrig> (Alexa got better!)
<RyanSherbrig> (Proving my point, really.)
<Alexa> (I thought it was Ryan's head. She just tried to asphyxiate me.)
<RyanSherbrig> (No, the deceiver was the one who decapitated me)
<Ebba> (here we go: )
<Ebba> <HollyhockGod> Your head is severed from your body. There is a slight moment of discomfort before it "schlups" itself back on. You're down a Deadly.
<Deuteronomy> You convinced the accused to break off the attack? With cunning rhetoric, perhaps?
<Alexa> (Yeah, that was Pandora's head.)
<RyanSherbrig> "I'm afraid we were swept up in the moment and staged an offensive against her fleet of flying pirate ships. Although I did attempt to commandeer one at the time, the loyalty of her minions was strong."
<Deuteronomy> So you were forced to protect the Water's-Regal by driving Thorpe away violently.
<RyanSherbrig> (I forget, did we actually hurt Thorpe? Or just show a big and impressive force?)
<HollyhockGod> Alexa burned her hands rather badly.
<Alexa> (And her hat!)
<HollyhockGod> And her hat.
<RyanSherbrig> "Yes, with the caveat that no permanent injury was inflicted, save to her property."
<RyanSherbrig> (We blew up a few ships, too, if I recall.)
<Fiona> (hmm. we could probably have argued that we chased her off because she was interrupting our conversation, not because we thought she was a threat.)
<Fiona> (could have)
<Deuteronomy> Yes, clearly she realized that she would be unable to harm the Water's-Regal in your presence.
<Deuteronomy> So it's not surprising that the final blow was struck while you were distracted, is it?
* Alexa thinks, Yes, it is!
<Marley> Objection: soliciting an opinion!
<RyanSherbrig> (Which one was 'sustained'? Answer the question, or don't?)
<RyanSherbrig> (My court-drama-tv-show-fu is weak.)
<HollyhockGod> The objective was sustained, so you don't have to answer.
<Ebba> (sustained means you the objection is valid)
<Alexa> (The objection is sustained.)
<Ebba> (overruled means it is invalid)
<Deuteronomy> Very well. How would you describe Thorpe's mood on the day of the death?
<Ebba> (hmm why did my hands produce the word 'you' in that sentence?)
<Deuteronomy> (Do you have something to hide?)
<RyanSherbrig> "Calmer than the first time we met her, certainly. It required fairly little effort to convince her that subtlety was the best tactic in investigating and undoing the Flower Rite."
<RyanSherbrig> "Well, there was the dragon attack, but that was in self-defense."
<Deuteronomy> The Excrucian menace did not agitate her? She made no threats?
<RyanSherbrig> "Oh, there was /talk/ about burning Washington DC to the ground, but as I said, it didn't take much to persuade her that would be a bad idea."
* Alexa whispers to Marley, "Are we allowed to smoke in here?"
<Deuteronomy> I can see that no attempt was made to do such a thing while you were watching.
<HollyhockGod> Smoking is allowed.
<RyanSherbrig> (Meon offers Alexa a cigarette. Whoops, cigarette bond!)
* Alexa lights up.
<Deuteronomy> And yet the moment your back was turned, the defendant killed someone, did she not?
<Marley> Objection! Hearsay!
<Deuteronomy> Is it hearsay? You have no evidence to present as to whether or not the defendant killed anyone?
<Ebba> (oh no)
<Ebba> (if he saddles us as thorpes constant minders, I'm going to kill him…)
<Deuteronomy> Surely the famed Emperor Beyond has asked his impossible servants to define the truth, yes?
<Alexa> (It does seem to presume the very fact the court has called into question.)
<Deuteronomy> So tell me, Dominus:
<Deuteronomy> Did Melangell Thorpe kill Anna Beauregarde?
* HollyhockGod realizes that all his logs are recording every statement three times.
<RyanSherbrig> "My investigation, which did utilize the art of High Summoning, showed that Thorpe, after being tricked by the Deceiver Ataulph into believing Anna had tried to kill, did kill Anna."
<RyanSherbrig> (I tell you this truth three times?)
<RyanSherbrig> (tried to kill her)
<Deuteronomy> You will of course produce this evidence upon the request of the Court.
<Deuteronomy> That may be attended to later.
<Deuteronomy> By the word of Dominus Sherbrig, the accused did indeed kill the deceased by her own hand!
<HollyhockGod> Elizabeth Eliza blanches.
<Deuteronomy> He tells us that she was deceived by the Dark Horsemen.
<Deuteronomy> But tell me, what Power of worth, pursuing a Deceiver, would not expect deceit?
<Deuteronomy> If one suddenly sees an old enemy appear before you, would you assume it was the Excrucian wearing a glamour?
<Deuteronomy> No, I say! Such as thing is too simple a plot for any Child of Harumaph. Any Noble worth her title would suspect a plot to trick her into destroying a rival.
<Deuteronomy> I say to you that either Melangell Thorpe is unworthy of the strawberry crown she wears, or she used this opportunity to slaughter an innocent victim to cater to her own blood lust!
<HollyhockGod> Thorpe raises her head weakly, but is unable to speak.
<Deuteronomy> This concludes my questioning, Dominus.
<Marley> I will begin the cross-examination.
<Marley> Dominus Sherbrig, tell me: what was your estimation of the defendant's character?
<Ebba> (comeon: rude, intermperate, and violent. You know you want to say it)
<Deuteronomy> (Say it! Say it!)
<RyanSherbrig> "Hmmmm. Enthusiastic and theatrical. A bit prone to excess."
<Marley> What kind of excess do you mean?
<RyanSherbrig> "I believe I mentioned the fleet of flying pirate ships? Suggesting burning Washington DC to the ground? Declaring Alexa her newly sworn archnemesis for burning her hat?"
<Marley> You feel that she is violent? Destructive? Dangerous?
<Alexa> (Objection! Leading!)
<HollyhockGod> (Can you make that objection in cross-examination?)
<Alexa> (Probably not. And I'm on her side anyway. :))
* Marley juggles her pocketknife on its chain.
<RyanSherbrig> "She does seem to approach her problems in an extremely straightforward manner when left to her own devices."
<Marley> Do you believe that the defendant to have been capable of murdering the deceased if given the chance?
<Fiona> (I have to go. will see people next week.)
* Fiona has quit (Disintegrated: Fiona)
<Ebba> (Marley doesn't seem to be making that great a defense so far)
<Marley> (You keep giving unhelpful answers to my questions! I blame you!)
<RyanSherbrig> (I don't know what kind of answers she wants! I blame her!)
<HollyhockGod> Incidentally, if someone else could put this log on the wiki, I would appreciate it.
<HollyhockGod> Mine is all triple.
* Marley has quit (Disintegrated: Leaving)
* Deuteronomy has quit (Disintegrated: Leaving)
<Alexa> (I still can't get logs out of IRC.)
* Alexa is now known as Uqbarian
<Ebba> I'm missing a chunk out of the middle
<Ebba> when I got dcd
<HollyhockGod> Presumably the intent is to make Melangell look not-murderous.
<Ebba> but I guess you can edit in the missing triple parts