Wolves In Lamb's Clothing

<RandBrittain> Hm, only one week left before the Halloween session.

<RandBrittain> And we still have to resolve the feud somehow, and get Pascale some cash, which I guess has to happen next week.

<RandBrittain> Then, an epic showdown!

<RandBrittain> I was planning to bring in the Queen of Curses and her high-stakes gambling house.

<Holden> gasp!

<Holden> she sounds cool!

<Nico> I imagine her as yelling "Curses!" a lot.

<RandBrittain> (the gambling house has chicken legs)

<Holden> BABA YAGA

<Holden> fuck yes

<Nico> Baba Yaga's Fantabulous Casino.

<Holden> We need Baba Yaga at this party

<RandBrittain> B. Yaga, Ph.D.

<RandBrittain> You already have your own Yagas, but whatever!

<Nico> What does Dr. Yaga hold a doctorate in?

<RandBrittain> Folklore.


<RandBrittain> That was before she discovered her true passion.


<Nico> Bring it!

<Nico> I'm already haunted.

<RandBrittain> Impotence!

<Nico> What's a curse compared to having your soul act as a duplex to an Aztec Willy Wonka?

<Nico> Like Nico's using his dick.

<RandBrittain> Fatness!

<RandBrittain> Inability to properly distinguish colors!

<Nico> Just makes Nico more in tune with his estate.

<Nico> And that second one protects Nico from the draft.

<Nico> So far I'm not seeing a whole lot of trouble.

<Melum> Chicken hut management?

<Holden> Can she teach Jane some cool curses?

<Holden> (although I guess Nico really has us set in the curse department)


<Holden> I dunno, learning curses from Baba Yaga just sounds vastly cooler than the Curse of the Deadly Peppermint or whatever

<Holden> no offense

<Nico> Bees being one of the lesser-known servants of the Estate of Sweets.

<Nico> …Can bees please be my servants? I want a mothra-sized killer bee.

<Holden> that makes lots of sense. Why isn't Nico throwing bees at people? That would be awesome.

<Nico> His name will be Dorris.

<Nico> I think he just didn't think of it.

  • Nico is now known as Elliott

<Elliott> Since we're under no illusion of starting.

<RandBrittain> Mmm, bees.

<RandBrittain> I mean AAAGGH BEES

<RandBrittain> I think Dr. Yaga will be a rival character!

<RandBrittain> She is the queen of witches, which puts you in competition.

<Elliott> Actually

<Elliott> Bees would be a really cool thing for Nico to figure out as a Treasure.

<Elliott> Finding the secret Hive of Heaven

  • Melum gets hungry, summons Coconut Bees
  • ADamiani (~ten.tsacmoc.ac.1dsh.18802314-ratScigaM|crivk#ten.tsacmoc.ac.1dsh.18802314-ratScigaM|crivk) has joined #spookygods

<RandBrittain> Bees of the Unconquered Sun.

<ADamiani> (Oh, geeze, I'm sorry, I overslept.)

<RandBrittain> Lambkin slowly unbuttons Jane's tunic, a little clumsily.

<Elliott> Nico watches, eating nonpareils.

<RandBrittain> "It's, uh, it's been a while. Also I'm covered in cake batter," he explains, sheepishly.

  • Elliott is now known as Nico

<ADamiani> (… *cough* Uh, I can come back, if this is a bad time…)

  • ADamiani is now known as Pascale
  • You are now known as Hollyhock God
  • services.magicstar.net sets mode +r Hollyhock God
  • Holden is now known as Jane
  • Melum_ reads more Homestuck
  • Nico sings the song of his people: Brittney Spears.

<Jane> best decision

<Hollyhock God> So! When last we left our heroes, Nico and Pascale were feuding over money.

<Hollyhock God> Or maybe ideology.

<Pascale> Or him being a big meanie.

<Hollyhock God> Jane was planning the world's largest masquerade ball!

<Hollyhock God> And Sid was a derpy puppy.

<Nico> Or her being a metaphysical bully.

<Jane> the derpiest

<Jane> and Jane was planning a bank heist

<Jane> possibly

<Hollyhock God> Jane is a good big sister as always.

<Hollyhock God> Does anyone want to elaborate on this situation?

  • Nico is taking a bath in money, but the tub is at least of modest size. Nothing ostentatious.

<Pascale> (She's not being a metaphysical bully, she's being insecure about her sister coming to visit.)

<Hollyhock God> Are you listening to Linkin Park in your secret sanctum or something?

<Nico> Acutally, Nico is in the backroom of his shop, baking furiously. He sublimates anger by producing experimental cheesecakes, very few of which go on to run amuck through major cities.

<Pascale> (Who?)

<Hollyhock God> Lambkin looks dubiously on.

<Hollyhock God> (Some band.)

<Hollyhock God> Then he looks up.

<Pascale> Pascale is sorting through loose change, trying to figure out how one GETS to Vegas.

<Hollyhock God> "Do you smell that? My witch-senses are tingling!"

<Nico> "…You have a witch sense?" Nico asks, sniffing at the air.

  • Jane blinks. "You… you have witch senses?"

<Hollyhock God> "…don't you?"

<Jane> "Well… actually I do."

<Jane> Why isn't my witch-sense tingling?

<Nico> "…Lamby, we're gonna totally have a talk about the human condition. Later, not now, but soon."

<Hollyhock God> "There's a witch on her way… a big one! About five feet eleven, and skinny."

<Hollyhock God> I'm going with 'you didn't ask.'

<Nico> "That's pretty tall for a lady."

  • Jane consults her witch-sense.

<Jane> I'm not precisely sure what dot that is but I'm pretty sure in the Chancel it's free anyway.

<Nico> "…Should I be worried?" Nico asks, suddenly realizing he's wrist-deep in avant-garde confectionary—in particular, an Eiffel Tower built from spindly peppermint sticks.

  • Pascale consults secret divination to find loose change in the couch cushions.

<Hollyhock God> The witch tally was pretty high already, what with it being almost Halloween in Halloween Ground Zero, but there does seem to be a large witchness signature heading towards the Chancel from over the water.

<Pascale> (That's a neat image)

<Hollyhock God> Technically you'd need to spend MP for Strike either way, but whatever.

<Jane> "Witches tend to regard confectionary as building materials rather than food," Jane observes. "So.. I dunno, you might be able to make a sale?"

<Hollyhock God> "Witches are trouble," avers Lambkin, "present company and their minions provisionally excepted owing to the requirements of my employment contract."

<Hollyhock God> "This one… this one might be the queen of all witches! The Grand High Witch herself! ….where's my sword?"

<Nico> "Aw, Lamby," Nico says, affecting a smile as he nudges the Excrucian with his elbow, "you're just an old softie for contractual obligations, aren't you?"

<Hollyhock God> Lambkin frowns. "I have a standard to maintain, you know."

<Jane> "Well, it looks like we have a high-order witch headed our way. Lambkin, we've gone over the whole guests-are-not-for-stabbing rule, right?"

  • Nico considers whether or not the Queen of Witches might commission a gingerbread house of truly godlike proportions.

<Hollyhock God> "I'm gonna use my judgment on that one. She might be a biter."

<Nico> "I'll allow this."

<Hollyhock God> "Maybe… maybe just a shortsword. For decorum."

<Nico> "Part of being a good employer is knowing when to empower your staff to better support your clientele," Nico says knowingly to his sister, "or…like, you know, stab them."

  • Jane conjures up a ghost. "Go find Pascale, let her know we're about to have company."

<Hollyhock God> Servants must hate being asked to track down Pascale.

<Jane> "No stabbing," Jane repeats. "Besides, she's probably a good witch. The bad ones tend to try to avoid this place like the plague."

<Hollyhock God> Do they?

<Hollyhock God> What about the child-eaters you've mentioned previously?

  • Nico snaps his fingers, changing into his spun-sugar three-piece in a poof of pink smoke.

<Jane> We generally haul monsters back here to be reformed.

<Melum> Jane's definition of good might differ from the common usage.

<Jane> Most monsters don't want to be reformed!

<Jane> There's also that.

<Jane> Nico's transformation sequence is maintaining the rigorous manliness standards established by Sailor Moon I see

<Nico> I will end you.

<Nico> With bees.

<Nico> My god.

<Pascale> (haaaaa)

<Hollyhock God> Including the moment of supposedly tasteful nudity!

<Melum> Not the bees!


<Hollyhock God> The terrifying bee man!

<Nico> http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Oprahs-Bees.gif

<Nico> This is your future!

<Pascale> They have to find me first!

<Pascale> …. which they presumably do.

<Hollyhock God> I presume they wander around the general vicinity of your lair calling your name until you appear.

<Melum> I was thinking more http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4wkcmZjBJ1qal3z5.gif

<Hollyhock God> Anyway!

  • Jane looks herself up and down, wondering if the usual jeans-and-jacket ensemble are fitting to meet some kind of Grand High Witch. She shrugs; it'll have to do. "Queen of Halloween" dress only really has two modes: ridiculous and ridiculously intimidating, neither of which seem quite appropriate at the moment.

<Hollyhock God> You assemble yourselves to cope with the Grand High Witch.

<Hollyhock God> Maybe there's a power-walk down a corridor.

<Jane> in slow-motion?

<Hollyhock God> You venture out through the water-entrance, opening out onto an abandoned bit of coast (abandoned owing to crab-men).

<Hollyhock God> Yes, slow-motion!

<Jane> we have a water-entrance? sweet

<Hollyhock God> And you perceive, in the distance, a mansion!

<Hollyhock God> Running on the water at speed!

<Hollyhock God> With chicken legs!

<Hollyhock God> That.

<Hollyhock God> Happened.

<Jane> Did we bring Lambkin with us?

<Nico> Yes.

<Hollyhock God> Not as such, but he followed you.

<Hollyhock God> He rivals Pascale in Meddling-Kid Rating.

<Jane> "Are those… are those chicken legs?"

<Hollyhock God> "Witch! Witch!" cries Lambkin.

  • Pascale will brook no rivalry! Er. Not with him anyhow.

<Hollyhock God> "Jane, are you prepared for a fight? There may be terrible demons, or hexes!"

<Pascale> "Hey. Cool. Did someone order a Baba Yaga themed—- hm. Nope.

<Pascale> Pascale cuts herself off mid-sentence. She's annoying about answering her own questions.

<Hollyhock God> "Nicodemus, you should distract her with confections. Witches are vulnerable to sugar! It's true!"

  • Jane pats Lambkin's shoulder. "Shhhh."

<Nico> "Shush, buddy," Nico ventures.

<Nico> "Let's see where this goes."

<Hollyhock God> Lambkin blushes. Jane's femme fatale index rises very slightly.

<Jane> +1!

<Jane> alas that the prior transformation sequence lowered Nico's MANGRIT by 1

  • Nico looks over at Jane and Lambkin, as if suddenly realizing something, perhaps with accompanying anime speedlines and other ephemera.

<Hollyhock God> Nico detects that Jane looks upon Lambkin as though he were an incredibly expensive chocolate truffle.

<Hollyhock God> The question is, is he full of nougat?

  • Jane meanwhile conjures up a spooky fog off in the distance, to veil this stretch of coastline from prying eyes.

<Hollyhock God> Anyway, the fog is probably going to be necessary, because that's not merely a house on legs, that's a hotel on legs.

<Hollyhock God> Seven stories tall if it's an inch.

<Hollyhock God> It looks like somebody took a rather swanky hotel and swathed it in neon like it was the house in Christmas Vacation.

<Hollyhock God> You really hope it's going to stop before it ploughs into you.

<Hollyhock God> …fortunately, it does. Just.

<Nico> "It's going to be one of those days."

<Jane> "Now that right there, that is a way to travel in style."

<Nico> "Sometimes, I wish I was the Power of Explanations. I feel like that would be, just, the sweetest gig."

<Hollyhock God> It stops just far enough away to toss out a massively plushy red carpet, which unrolls itself down the steps and down to your feet.

<Hollyhock God> The doors open, and out steps….

  • Pascale has been standing one footstep from where it stops, naturally.

<Hollyhock God> A woman in truly enormous furs. You may have seen her at a party some time ago, but she was casually dressed for the barbeque.

<Hollyhock God> Today she's buried in black sable, and, of course, the requisite pointy hat.

<Jane> Does she look particularly terrifying?

<Hollyhock God> Also, thick-rimmed black glasses.

<Hollyhock God> …it depends on what you're scared of.

<Hollyhock God> Lambkin tenses but waits to see what happens.

<Jane> "See," Jane says to the high-strung Excrucian. "Nothing to be afraid of."

<Nico> "Hello!" Nico ventures. "If you've come to commission a gingerbread house with fox legs, my rates are very reasonable."

<Hollyhock God> "Hahahahahahahahahaha!" says the Grand High Witch.

<Jane> "Welcome!" Jane announces, hoping Pascale is going to supply a name so they look a bit less clueless.

<Hollyhock God> "Ahahahahahahahahahaha!"

  • Nico is totally freaked out by dat laugh.

<Hollyhock God> Dr. Clarissa Yaga, Curse's-Regal.


<Nico> Does she…

<Hollyhock God> "Dahlings! So good to see you!"

<Nico> explain it all?

<Hollyhock God> "It's been simply ages."

  • Pascale whispers to Jane the identity of their guest.

<Jane> "…Has it?" The question isn't an empty polite response from Jane, as usual with that greeting.

<Pascale> "Uh. Hello?"

<Jane> In either case, Jane steps forward, offering a hand. "Dr. Yaga! What brings you to our little haunted corner of the world?"

<Hollyhock God> "I think I saw you at little Molly's garden party, but we didn't have a chance to speak before the fireworks started going off."

  • Pascale Pascale is mildly terrified, and also busy divining what's up…

<Hollyhock God> For the record visually, Dr. Yaga looks like a cross between Lulu and Cruella deVille.

<Hollyhock God> Maybe a dash of Tremere.

<Pascale> (So FF-Lulu)

<Hollyhock God> Dr. Yaga's eyes pass over Pascale, setting off Pascale's hidden-agenda sense.

<Jane> gasp!

  • Melum pictured the witch from The Magician's Nephew.

<Pascale> Already on the Hidden Agenda Divination!

<Pascale> (http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091225054823/finalfantasy/images/2/25/Lulu.jpg)

<Pascale> (?)

<Jane> what in christ's name

<Melum> Yes

<Hollyhock God> But with glasses. And more shoulder clothing.

<Melum> Lulu from FFX

<Melum> And fewer belts.

<Melum> Presumably.

  • Nico never met Molly or Clarissa, but seems mostly unphased now that introductions have been made.

<Jane> "This is Nicodemus Moreno, Pascale Lanier, and Lambkin Moceils."

<Jane> "My Familia. And uh, Lambkin. He's with me."

<Nico> "Saint of Sweets," Nico says, conjuring a feathered hat to take off in her honor.

<Hollyhock God> "Charmed. Aaaaaaaa, isn't this a handsome young liar. And a master of confection, and a brave young lady!"

<Nico> "Less a master than I would like, and far more a servant," Nico says.

<Pascale> "I assume you're here to see Caviel, then," Pascale makes a reasonable-sounding lie.

<Hollyhock God> "No, no, no; I just came to pay a little social call," Dr. Yaga smooths. "See how the holiday is shaping up, make sure the local feng shui is appropriately spooky…"

<Hollyhock God> "Oh, and I wanted to let you know I can't spare any witches for Halloween this year. Lots of maledictions to deliver, you know. Very busy."

  • Jane quirks an eyebrow. "Hold on here a minute, Dr. Yaga, this is Halloween we're talking about. It's the witchiest time of the year. It's an all-witches-on-deck situation."
  • Nico gives Jane a "right-on" shoulder-clasp.

<Hollyhock God> "Well, I see your point there, I really do, but… goodness, it's hot out here, isn't it? You wouldn't happen to have a julep about the place, would you?"

<Jane> I hope someone is keeping an eye on Lambkin during this lol

<Hollyhock God> Lambkin does not understand this conversation.

<Hollyhock God> Nobody has tried to eat anybody or do an evil spell, so it's all politics to him.

<Jane> "Dr. Yaga, who is it that needs all that much cursing that you want to have a bunch of witches sit out Halloween? And don't have witch-riots over the very idea?"

  • Nico conjures a spectral mint-julep, with a tiny broom for a stirrer.

<Hollyhock God> "Oh, loads of people," Dr. Yaga explains, beckoning a chicken-footed set of tables and chairs down from her front porch.

<Hollyhock God> "Here, I've got a list."

<Hollyhock God> She removes a small black notebook from her copious bosom and begins reading out her list of grievances.

<Hollyhock God> Dude who bumped into her in the street: hangnail.

<Hollyhock God> Lady who raised an eyebrow at her dress: drop handbag into pudding.

<Pascale> "Right. Well. OK, then. We're really quite busy. Thank you for visiting. it's been lovely. We'll see you again some time?"

<Jane> "Pascale!"

<Hollyhock God> Deceiver who tried to use The Ring in a welken-rite: eternity of unrelenting agony.

  • Pascale squirms, looking at Jane.

<Jane> "A moment?" Jane smiles, leaves Nico to tend to their guest, and draws Pascale aside. "What?"

<Hollyhock God> "Nothing to fret about, darling," says Dr. Yaga.

<Hollyhock God> "Everybody's just a little scar't of me, that's all…"

<Pascale> "She doesn't respect us. She's here specifically to mess with us because she CAN. She thinks it'll be entertaining and she'll negotiate some concessions. She is trouble we do not need right now."

<Nico> "Do you do bespoke curses?" Nico asks.

<Jane> Jane frowns. "That's something you know or something you suspect?"

<Nico> "Or is it usually more a one-size-fits-all sort of operation?"

<Hollyhock God> "Oh, curses comes from the heart, darling. You've gotta really feel it before a curse will come out. That's why I write all my grudges down here," she pats her bosom.

<Hollyhock God> "Then maybe once you're finished, you can move it around a little bit, sell it down the street. But it all starts right there."

<Pascale> "I /know/ why she's come. I'm speculating that having the Regal of Curses looking to mess with us for a while is probably bad."

<Nico> "What's the going rate?" Nico asks. "Is this a cash operation, or do you deal more in the intangibles?"

<Hollyhock God> "I'm open to persuasion."

<Pascale> "Also, she wants to sleep with Lambkin, and win my soul at roulette. Roulette, Jane!"

<Nico> "Well, here's a big question if you don't mind," Nico says, leaning forward and freshening up Clarissa's drink. "Can you curse a ghost possessing someone else?"

<Nico> "Without the host being cursed, I mean."

<Jane> Jane's eyes narrow. "Let's see if we can't turn things around then, shall we? She likes gambling?"

<Hollyhock God> Dr. Yaga considers this for a moment. "Well, you'd need to find some fella who hated that ghost intensely."

<Jane> Shit, we don't have a shortage in that department.

  • Nico gives her the flattest look anyone has ever achieved. "I think that's doable, yes."

<Hollyhock God> "I think something could be arranged."

<Hollyhock God> "What sort of horrible fate did you have in mind for this spook?"

<Pascale> Pascale sighs, rubbing her forehead. "She's got a whole casino in that thing."

  • Jane smiles, and claps Pascale on the shoulder. "I believe not too long ago you had some ideas about poker…?"
  • Nico wilts a little. "Honestly? Not sure. I mean, I kind of want to curse him because I hate him and he's terrible, but at the same time…maybe cursing isn't the right solution? Is there a success rate on this whole deal?"

<Pascale> "Yes. In VEGAS. Great architecture? Good food? Confused mobsters who have no idea what they're dealing with?

  • Jane raises an eyebrow. "You don't think you could take her?"

<Hollyhock God> "Horrible fates I can do. If you want a sense of metaphysical rightness or wholeness or some malarkey, talk to Wisdom."

<Pascale> "I didn't say that.

<Pascale> "I didn't say that."

<Nico> "He IS cute," Nico says, conjuring an amaretto diet of his own.

<Nico> "Wisdom, I mean."

<Pascale> Oh. NOW he makes the diets.

<Jane> "Good. Let's go set an example for everyone to see how good an idea it is to mess with us."

  • Pascale rubs her temples.

<Hollyhock God> "Oh, so now it's love potions is it? That's a different kind of curse altogether."

  • Nico blushes furiously. "No, no. That'd just piss my little sister off even more. Which, actually, might be kind of fun…"

<Pascale> "Wouldn't it be easier to just turn her away, and-wait-"

<Pascale> That would be adorable.

<Pascale> "Wait, is Nico already negotiating with her?"

  • Jane turns back to Clarissa, takes a breath, and puts on a solid smile. "Dr. Yaga, I appreciate you coming to see us today. Unfortunately, we're anticipating a pretty big Halloween this year—it is, after all, the day that reigns above all spooks, ghouls, ghosts, witches, deviltry and witchcraft. I'm afraid we really can't spare any witches. Perhaps Nico would be willing to offer up some of his own exemplary curses in exchange for in exchange for reasonable considerations?"

<Pascale> (How did you get quotes to show up in an action line?)

<Jane> (I just typed em?)

<Pascale> (I always do /me and then quotes don't…" thingy)

  • Pascale attempts to demonstrate

<Jane> (I'm using XChat, maybe it's a client issue)

<Pascale> (Hm. Interesting.

<Jane> (Jane: Be the Queen.)

  • Nico sighs. "I wasn't looking for freelancer work, Jane."

<Hollyhock God> "Darling, you do like to ask a lot. But maybe there's room to negotiate a bit."

<Hollyhock God> "Might take a while, though. You wouldn't happen to have a place for me to dock tonight?"

<Nico> "We could always put you and your…uh…chicken-mansions up in the Chancel."

<Hollyhock God> "That would be simply divine."

<Nico> "Was that a—"

<Hollyhock God> Dr. Yaga's gambling hell ambles on into the Chancel.

  • Nico reconsiders pointing out puns to the Power of Curses.

<Hollyhock God> Now you're going to have to cook dinner~

  • Jane smiles again. "We'd be delighted to have you as a guest. But I wasn't really asking."
  • Pascale blinks.

<Pascale> Pascale murmurs under her breath. "Well… okaaaaay, that's one way to do this…"

<Jane> (Pretty much the thing to understand about Jane is that she doesn't like being pushed around, and she doesn't concede that there's anything out there outside her weight class. lol)

<Hollyhock God> "I guess maybe I wasn't asking, either. But maybe there's another way to settle this, if you aren't into negotiations."

<Hollyhock God> "How do you feel about the old witch's challenge?"

<Jane> "The old what now?"

<Pascale> "Witch's challenge."

  • Pascale repeats, helpfully.

<Jane> Pascale is this weird mix of helpful and unhelpful.

<Hollyhock God> "I set you a simple task. If you succeed, darling, then of course you walk away with all the witches you want."

<Hollyhock God> "And if not, you simply do without."

<Hollyhock God> "Nothing could be simpler."

<Jane> "What'd you have in mind?"

<Pascale> "…. wait, isn't she the one asking for witches?"

<Hollyhock God> Dr. Yaga considers, then smiles thinly.

<Nico> "And wouldn't you rather have some nice cookies?" Nico asks, conjuring a platter. "Made with REAL Warmain chips and—" Nico suddenly realizes Lambkin is still around.

<Jane> "Actually," Jane holds up a hand, "never mind. Not that curious. Pascale's right."

<Jane> "On October 31st, I think I've got the stronger claim. Why not both profit, Dr. Yaga?"

  • Pascale whispers to Jane:

<Pascale> "If she's issued a challenge, you may need to offer alternate terms."

<Hollyhock God> Dr. Yaga frowns, disappointed. "Well, you don't have to play if you don't want to, darling. I just hope everything goes all right on the night."

<Pascale> (Nice Holiday you got there. Be a shame if something were to happen to it.)

<Jane> "Well, Dr. Yaga, the problem is that this witch's challenge seems rather one-sided, doesn't it?"

<Hollyhock God> It's really hard to resolve a chess game over IRC.

<Hollyhock God> "Well, you have to hear it first."

<Hollyhock God> "You, there, handsome," she prods Lambkin with an elbow, "fetch a lady a glass of water would you? No hurry."

<Pascale> "The stakes are one-sided."

<Jane> "Lambkin, stay right there. What are the terms you had in mind?"

<Hollyhock God> "I'm just hoping to settle our little dispute. After all, I've got just as much right to witches as you do. And you can go ahead and find that glass of water, big guy—we're just engaged in a bit of girl talk."

  • Hollyhock God is having serious difficulty maintaining Dr. Yaga's Cruella-speak.

<Hollyhock God> Lambkin flees at the prospect of girl-talk.

<Hollyhock God> "So, then, now that we're alone…"

  • Nico looks on at Lambkin like Nooooooooooo take me with you.

<Jane> "You know, Dr. Yaga, I think you're intimidating poor Lambkin a bit."

<Jane> "Maybe even scaring him."

<Hollyhock God> "Now, darling, that could go both ways. I can't help but notice the looks you've been giving him."

<Pascale> "You wouldn't like him when he's intimidated."

  • Pascale rolls her eyes. Really, Jane?

<Hollyhock God> "So I'm thinking maybe it's time I gave the two of you just the teensiest push."

  • Jane raises an eyebrow. Really, now?

<Hollyhock God> "If you can win the young hero's heart before I leave heresay tomorrow sunsetI'll call you the winner and give you all the witches you could desire. Even make 'em extra witchy."

  • Nico wonders if Toltecatl could make this situation any less awkward, but returns a standard: nope.
  • Pascale gives Jane the Don't Do It face! Noooo!
  • Jane frowns. "I'm not normally one to kiss and tell, Doc. Lacks class."

<Hollyhock God> "Are you just looking for an excuse not to kiss? That's all too common! Clearly I got here just in time."

<Nico> "Maybe you should mind your own business," Nico pipes up, his voice taking a sudden, dark undertone.

  • Jane meanwhile is standing there quietly in the sand, head down, thinking.

<Pascale> (We have witches, she wants them. And if we win, we still have witches. If we lose she gets them.)

<Hollyhock God> Arguably she has just as much command over witches as you do.

<Hollyhock God> So it isn't as clear-cut as that.

<Jane> (Gonna wait to see if she responds to Nico before I post again)

<Hollyhock God> She just shrugs.

<Pascale> "So, just to be clear…

<Jane> "Pascale, could you do me a favor?"

<Pascale> "You're threatening us, unless we run games for your amuseme—uh, sure, Jane. What?"

<Jane> "Fetch Lambkin back, please?"

  • Pascale shrugs.

<Pascale> "Sure thing."

  • Pascale Pascale heads inside.
  • Pascale heads inside.

<Hollyhock God> Lambkin is waiting inside with the glass of water. He doesn't want to accidentally hear girl talk!

<Melum> Girl talk destroys your boypluck.

<Pascale> (Do you actually want him back, or were you just getting me out of the way?)

<Hollyhock God> It does!

<Jane> (Jane does indeed want him back)

<Pascale> (k)

<Pascale> "You doing OK, Lamkin? Not overly intimidated?"

  • Pascale gives him a look of concern before heading back with boypluck.

<Hollyhock God> Your chummy concerns restore the Moceils mangrit.

<Jane> ldfkshglkdshglkh homestuuuuuuck

<Jane> (technically problem sleuth but whatever!)

<Hollyhock God> Lambkin arrives, dutifully bearing his glass of water, which he presents to the wicked doctor.

  • Jane uses a quiet subtle ghost miracle to amplify the wicked doctor's wickedness a tiny bit while that's going on.

<Jane> or at least her aura thereof.

<Jane> "Lambkin."

<Hollyhock God> Lambkin eyes the doctor suspiciously, while attending to Jane.

  • Jane summons a pair of bat-wing-decorated comfy chairs, facing one another there in the sand. She takes his hand and bids him sit down across from her.

<Pascale> "uh…

  • Pascale gives Nico a sidelong look.

<Hollyhock God> ("Good heavens, Miss South Transylvania, you're beautiful!")

  • Nico is all like what do YOU want.
  • Jane takes a deep breath. "So here's the thing.

<Jane> "

<Jane> She hasn't let go of the hand yet, and hasn't noticed that she hasn't done so. She's looking down at the sand.

<Jane> "Dr. Yaga has just issued me a witch's challenge for some resources I need to properly do my job. The challenge, specifically, is to win your heart by sundown tomorrow. And I want you to know that, and I want you to know why I'm turning her down despite the trouble she can make for me this Halloween." She clears her throat, makes herself look up.

<Hollyhock God> Lambkin is considering this.

<Hollyhock God> "Who, me?"

<Jane> "Yes. You. The truth is, I…" She clears her throat. "I do fancy you. And it's not a game for me and I'm not going to turn it into one. If you ever end up feeling… anything… in return, I don't want it to be part of some tawdry challenge using your feelings as a game piece. I know you kind of got shanghaied into this whole thing, but I want you to learn to understand who we are and what we're about. I want you to be a real part of this familia— not a joke or a prop or a game piece. And I wanted you to know what was going on, because I can't see how you could ever trust any of us otherwise."

<Jane> At that point, Jane realizes she's still holding his hand, and lets go, pulling her own back to her lap. "So, uhm. There's that." She rises. "Dr. Yaga, I like tricks and I like treats, but that's one game I'm not going to play. I decline."

<Hollyhock God> Lambkin takes your hand in his other hand. "You're a straight talker, Jane. I guess I was wrong to think you were the queen of beasts spoken of in the unspoken prophecy."

  • Pascale coughs.

<Jane> or uh perhaps both her hands are taken whichever

  • Nico anchor think-talks: «So kiss the girl and see if you like it, dude.»

<Hollyhock God> I was assuming it's Lambkin-hand < Jane-hand < Lambkin-hand, for a total stack of three.

<Hollyhock God> Lambkin isn't your Anchor, but sure, why not.

<Pascale> Technically….

<Pascale> (I thought we anchored him)

<Jane> candytelepathy

<Pascale> (Or, rather, Nico did)

<Hollyhock God> He draws you up into his arms and goes for the kiss.


<Jane> Jane: Not fighting it.

<Pascale> "I believe you'll agree she's won your challenge, doctor?"

<Jane> After a moment's surprise, Jane reciprocates.

<Jane> Pascale ftw

<Hollyhock God> Dr. Yaga is silent for a moment, then shrugs and turns to go.

<Hollyhock God> Only Pascale can see her inner seething!

<Hollyhock God> Silently, she makes for her gangplank.

  • Nico makes a smiley, happy noise.
  • Jane doesn't even notice, she is busy.

<Pascale> Is she going to provide the witches now?

<Hollyhock God> I suppose she can't avoid it!

<Hollyhock God> Also, curses.

<Hollyhock God> Lots of awful curses.

<Pascale> Thank goodness Nico didn't mention any curses that would annoy me.

  • Nico makes a note to look up that thing about Wisdom an love potions, and tucks away Clarissa's card.

<Jane> I doubt she can top Nico's horrifying dragon enema thing

<Hollyhock God> Meanwhile, the gambling hell sails away, while Jane happily macks on the enemy.

<Jane> aaaaaand scene? lol

<Hollyhock God> You forgot to roll her for $15,000, though.

<Jane> I kinda had to go with the moment

<Hollyhock God> It's true!


<Nico> Wonder who has that kind of money, still.

<Hollyhock God> We can close on violin music and Lambkin forthrightly inviting you back to his place.

<Nico> Almost certainly someone with thumbs.

<Jane> o my

<Nico> Awwwwwww.

  • Nico is now known as Elliott
  • Jane is now known as Holden

<Elliott> That was good. But so short.

<RandBrittain> Waiting until the third date is a lie!

  • Pascale is now known as ADamiani

<ADamiani> Yes.

<Holden> Shortest session ever, but good

<ADamiani> Very short.

<ADamiani> We still have, like, time left.

<Elliott> Short short.

<Elliott> Like Pascale.

<Holden> sorry I kinda forced it to an early conclusion

<ADamiani> hee

<RandBrittain> Well, you were late, and I almost had to bludgeon people into following the plot at ALL.

<Melum> Always leave 'em wanting more.

<Elliott> Who I imagine as very petite.

<RandBrittain> I was hoping you'd do the little mermaid thing.

<Holden> the what now

<RandBrittain> And that Clarissa could sing Poor Unfortunate Souls.

<Holden> lmao

<Elliott> I was going to get Nico to play Sebastien if we had a longer thing.

<RandBrittain> "Get the guy to kiss you within the time limit" is pretty much exactly the same bargain.

<Elliott> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lOBc3QZD9w

<ADamiani> Yeah, but in that case, the prince wasn't Ariel's prisoner.

<RandBrittain> Well, Ariel wasn't the goddess of spooks.

<Melum> No, but she was a teenage redhead with a clamshell bra.

<Melum> Which is practically the same thing.

<Elliott> So, all the Halloween familia gets a disney romance. For Jane, it was Mermaid. For Pascale, it's going to be…hmmm…

<RandBrittain> Psychonauts!

<RandBrittain> Pascale is Raz, Paolo is Lili.


<Melum> Can I be Sasha Nein?

<RandBrittain> Granted.

<Elliott> And Nico's is no one.

<Elliott> He's going to go master the power of Bees.

<Melum> He can be the kid with the tinfoil cap

<RandBrittain> This Halloween I will set you up with Isaiah.

<RandBrittain> Eee-yup.

<Elliott> Whom?

<Holden> oh hey

<RandBrittain> Dogan, but he's really more like the really cheerful girl.

<Holden> speaking of psychonauts and other games

<RandBrittain> Who sees horrible things if you clairvoyance her.

<Holden> there's a coupon code you can use to get $19.99 off from any EA game at the Origin site, if anyone wants it

<RandBrittain> But anyway Isaiah is Vegetables.

<RandBrittain> He'd be good for you!

<RandBrittain> His Persona demands it!

<Elliott> If I had to find a Disney analogue for Nico, this is probably the closest:

<Elliott> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLvK5nKbo6w&feature=endscreen&NR=1

<Holden> Free Origin PC Game download (normally priced $19.99) with Coupon Code OS3874XVC

<Holden> For reals. Go to the Origin site and use that code to get $19.99 off various games - and if you choose a game that's $19.99, it's free. So yeah, just downloaded Dragon Age, gonna finally try this game. This is not a scam or a chain email spam bullshit thing. Go get you a free game, yo!

<ADamiani> Psychonauts isn't disney!

<Elliott> Because if Nico is Meg, then it means Tolt can be voiced by James Woods.

<ADamiani> Wait, seriously?

<Holden> I do approve of James Woods as a general thing

<RandBrittain> I think Jane just snagged the guy who most resembles Hercules, but we can see.

<Holden> o_O

<RandBrittain> I guess there's always Summer.

<ADamiani> O_o

<Elliott> I actually kind of hate Hercules the character

<Elliott> So it's not a perfect analogy.

<ADamiani> The Disney character, or the actual character?

<RandBrittain> Both have downsides!

<Elliott> Both.

<ADamiani> (man, even at $19.99 off, Origin isn't competitive with Steam)

<RandBrittain> I could give you Jane's old wolfenstein. He is lonely.

<Holden> (yeah Origin sucks, but free games are good.)

<RandBrittain> Nico needs somebody to make him laugh.

<Elliott> Agreed re: Origin

<RandBrittain> Like, not a crazy laugh, a real one.

<Elliott> Just grabbed Dragon Age

<Elliott> Never played it before.

<Elliott> Are you suggesting Nico is dour?

<ADamiani> Sour.

<RandBrittain> Flour!

<RandBrittain> Wait.

<ADamiani> Even bitter.

<Elliott> He owns a candy emporium! He "employs" countless confectionary golems! And he is going to be THE EMPEROR OF BEES!

<Holden> Elliott: Make a mage. Mages are best. And best story.

<Elliott> Holden: done and done. I always make mages. They are my favorite things.

<RandBrittain> Anyway, I'm sure that everything will be fine now that Jane confessed her forbidden love in front of someone who now hates you.

  • ADamiani (~ten.tsacmoc.ac.1dsh.18802314-ratScigaM|crivk#ten.tsacmoc.ac.1dsh.18802314-ratScigaM|crivk) has left #spookygods (Once you know what it is you want to be true, instinct is a very useful device for enabling you to know that it is)

<Holden> Armed with this new Quest system, we need to kit Jane out with halloween swag. Then we can save the world.

  • ADamiani (~ten.tsacmoc.ac.1dsh.18802314-ratScigaM|crivk#ten.tsacmoc.ac.1dsh.18802314-ratScigaM|crivk) has joined #spookygods

<RandBrittain> The swaggiest!

<ADamiani> Grr

<Elliott> Although, sometimes that DOES boomerang on me, since it convinced me to give EVERY EXALTED CHARACTER I EVER MADE sorcery.

<RandBrittain> In fact, it's double forbidden!

<ADamiani> (What was that coupon code again?)

  • RandBrittain begins planning Jane's double forbidden babies.

<Holden> Elliott: In EX3, that will not be like suffering a horrid curse from a bitter and vengeful god

<Elliott> <3

<Holden> Free Origin PC Game download (normally priced $19.99) with Coupon Code OS3874XVC

<Holden> For reals. Go to the Origin site and use that code to get $19.99 off various games - and if you choose a game that's $19.99, it's free. So yeah, just downloaded Dragon Age, gonna finally try this game. This is not a scam or a chain email spam bullshit thing. Go get you a free game, yo!

<ADamiani> In Ex3, it will be like swinging nerf-bats in the shape of real bats.

<Elliott> Holden: If true, I am willing to buy anyone on the team a drink of their choice should we ever meet in person.

<ADamiani> (Thanks)

<ADamiani> (DA2)

<Holden> Elliott: Sorcery fucking rules in EX3

<RandBrittain> I have already paid my way into Ex3 in the form of beefcakes for the entire writing team.

<Elliott> Because in Vance's 3-4 year game, I play a Twilight who bit the bullet for Essence 4 at chargen and rushed into huge swaths of sorcery.

<RandBrittain> Let me know if Morke wants one.

<Elliott> In all fairness, I did once make Vance cry by absuing sorcery.

<Elliott> So that was fun.

<RandBrittain> Hm, one more week before Halloween and the troubles that will ensue?

<RandBrittain> Any requests?

<ADamiani> It's not an Exalted power unless you make the ST cry

<ADamiani> Halloween could be a two-parter.

<ADamiani> Needs run-up.

<Elliott> One well-placed spell, and I went from our weakest combatant to being able to wrestle Warstriders, with a mote pool in excess of 500.

<Holden> I'll brainstorm some during the week

<RandBrittain> There's always the beast-queen prophecy to look into.

<Holden> that too

<ADamiani> Some excuse for Jane to summon an army of shadow-monsters.

<Holden> we can actually get info on Excrucian matters now

<RandBrittain> I seem to recall a crazy Strategist mentioning something similar!

<Elliott> Well, I'm not around next week so I suppose I've not got much sway on that count :P

<ADamiani> Plus, Vegas.

<Holden> elliott nooooooo

<ADamiani> Vance hasn't quit has he?

<RandBrittain> True, Pascale is still poor.

<RandBrittain> Vance is a derpy flighty puppy.

<Elliott> Vance hasn't. He's just a derpy campaigning puppy.

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