Weaving Tangled Cables Part Four

<HollyhockGod> I don't mind. I wish I had Razzen around to steer your misfortune, but I can manage.

<TheAntiPiro> I'm afraid it's all over anyway.

<TheAntiPiro> Oh well. Everything turns to dust with due time.

<HollyhockGod> Do you think so?

<HollyhockGod> If so, my fault. At least my grades are improving.

<HollyhockGod> Let's keep trying, either way.

<HollyhockGod> I think we left you in a sputtering boat, making for the nearest land?

<TheAntiPiro> I'd think that having gone through backlogs of just xellos and Olf auto-reconnecting for the past almost two weeks…

* TheAntiPiro is now known as Alan

* Alan is now known as AlanAmis

<HollyhockGod> They do seem to get droped a lot, don't they?

<HollyhockGod> *dropped.

<HollyhockGod> Oh, well, we'll soldier on.

<HollyhockGod> Your boat was in perfect condition when you left (you have people for that) but now it seems to have suffered a random breakdown.

<HollyhockGod> Once again, your Estate has turned against you.

<AlanAmis> It'll only be inconvenient if it can't reach a port before sinking into the ocean.

<AlanAmis> Well, truly inconvenient I guess.

<HollyhockGod> If you remember correctly, the piece of land visible in the distance is the Isle of Man, which is supposedly a tourist attraction, which is nice.

<HollyhockGod> Incidentally, how is all that gold packaged?

<AlanAmis> Chests, just to be generic.

<HollyhockGod> Actual piratey ones?

<AlanAmis> Yes.

<HollyhockGod> Hm. Well, you make for land, and you're able to get tied up at a dock before it finally sputters into death.

<HollyhockGod> The marina owners expect some kind of explanation, but you sort that out in some way that I doubt is very interesting.

<HollyhockGod> The real question is, what do you plan to do while you wait for repairs to commence- or will you find a new boat?

<AlanAmis> I'll ask my crew how long repairs will take.

<HollyhockGod> Oh, you brought crew?

<AlanAmis> Well, it wouldn't be very smart not to have one.

<HollyhockGod> What's your plan for getting away with this, by the by?

<AlanAmis> (Just a moment. I forget what day I set out as opposed to what day Ancagallon will be arriving)

<HollyhockGod> I don't remember anymore either. Maybe you have one or two more…

<HollyhockGod> Viktor kills a dragon.

<HollyhockGod> You show up the next day. Day 1.

<HollyhockGod> Say that Kalla is created on Day 2.

<HollyhockGod> The Egypt group leaves on Day 3, and gets back Day 4.

<HollyhockGod> Today is either day 5 or day 6, and Ancagallon arrives on Day 8, unless he was bluffing.

<HollyhockGod> So you have at least two days before whatever happens happens.

<AlanAmis> Two days huh. Something big will have to happen to cause something that drastic.

<AlanAmis> Actually, how long does it seem it will take for repairs to occur?

<AlanAmis> That's probably going to be integral to the plot I want to hatch.

<HollyhockGod> The mechanics think they should be finished by tomorrow.

<HollyhockGod> If nothing goes wrong.

<AlanAmis> That's perfect then.

<AlanAmis> What does the weather happen to be like this time of year out at sea?

<AlanAmis> Alan wants to do as little bribing as possible.

<HollyhockGod> Cloudy with a chance of random encounters. Somewhat warm (for England).

<HollyhockGod> Yeah, it's not like you brought a crock of gold or anything.

<AlanAmis> A bit of luck and I can nudge the weather towards an unfortunate storm capable of sinking a ship I imagine.

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<HollyhockGod> Well, I suppose so. That's closer to Savan's Chaos than to Fortune as a general weather change.

<AlanAmis> Hmm.

<HollyhockGod> Maybe it would be more in theme if you wanted storms to happen to a specific person.

<AlanAmis> That works.

<AlanAmis> How many ships are docked right now?

<HollyhockGod> Say, twenty-nine, mostly charter boats and fishing vessels.

<AlanAmis> Well, I'll tell my men to work on repairs for now and actually stay on the boat myself to keep watch. I already had the misfortune of landing there.

<HollyhockGod> Hm, what sort of boat is it?

<AlanAmis> A nice boat (hur hur).

<AlanAmis> Seriously though.

<HollyhockGod> Not you, too.

<HollyhockGod> The last episode of School Days made me slightly ill.

<AlanAmis> I absolutely loved it.

<AlanAmis> Stab stab stab stab.

<HollyhockGod> Dead person eyes and huge anime eyes combine in a way that's unsettling.

<AlanAmis> Such a jerkoff and got what he deserved.

<HollyhockGod> Arguably, he was a jerkoff but didn't deserve to be murdered.

<AlanAmis> Although cutting open that girl at the end was a bit much.

<AlanAmis> True. He tried to settle things as best as he could.

<HollyhockGod> I can't say that any of the girls didn't know exactly what he was like.

<AlanAmis> It's not a love story.

<AlanAmis> It's just an extreme lesson in what happens to stupid kids that let their hormones do the thinking.

<HollyhockGod> He basically wore a sign saying "I WILL USE YOU FOR SEX NOW. THAT'S OKAY, YES?

<HollyhockGod> "

<AlanAmis> I never watched the show. Just that last episode.

<AlanAmis> Which was all I needed to see.

<HollyhockGod> He slept with every single female character in the show except maybe one.

<HollyhockGod> In one case with three at once.

<AlanAmis> Yeah. I got that impression.

<HollyhockGod> Oh, well, nice boat, so it's a houseboat?

<AlanAmis> I was thinking a small cargo ship really.

<AlanAmis> But that would work.

<HollyhockGod> It's fine either way, I suppose.

<HollyhockGod> You luxuriate in the luxurious main bedroom, although Edith decorated it, so being in it tends to make you want to die.

<HollyhockGod> Nevertheless, the bed is very soft.

<AlanAmis> Which is a shame.

<HollyhockGod> People want such strange things out of beds!

<AlanAmis> To make up for our lost time conversing about insane girls with machetes and voices that tickle my fancy…

<AlanAmis> The ship has to go if I want this to work.

<AlanAmis> So with that in mind, I'll just spill the plan out in its short lived entirety.

<HollyhockGod> Fair enough.

<AlanAmis> Actually, who's more appropriate for offering a chest of gold in return for sinking my ship. Su Yin or Anna?

<HollyhockGod> Hm.

<HollyhockGod> Su Yin is proud but honorable, and doesn't like most people very much.

<HollyhockGod> Anna likes deals but is tricksome!

<AlanAmis> Alright then.

<HollyhockGod> I suppose while you're on the ocean you can invoke either one pretty easily.

<AlanAmis> Then here's my wonderful plan that's going to leave me at the mercy of those I involve.

<AlanAmis> I'll attempt to communicate with Anna, requesting that she sink my ship midday tomorrow in return for a chest of treasure I'll leave upon it, for her to collect once the transaction is completed.

<AlanAmis> My only request is that she confirm the ship indeed sank with treasure on it, if anyone should ask her.

<HollyhockGod> That seems like a good way to cover your tracks!

<AlanAmis> In the mean time, I'll purchase a ship off of one of the merchants there to move the rest of the treasure onto and also grab a little boat so I can drive my ship to sea and depart before it sinks.

<HollyhockGod> Anna would like something like that. Shipwrecks make her look good.

<AlanAmis> This will put up the illusion (if nothing bad happens) that I indeed ran into two instances of poor luck.

<AlanAmis> Rather than just one.

<HollyhockGod> I suppose if you want to call her, you can just go out onto the deck and give a yell, since you're standing on a body of water.

<AlanAmis> Then I'll go ahead and do that. My only worry is that she'll want more treasure than I'd like to give.

<HollyhockGod> Well, it's not like getting more gold is hard for you.

<HollyhockGod> I mean, you can make the stuff if you feel like it.

<HollyhockGod> Or Midas some sap.

<AlanAmis> There's that lack of romance and authenticity though.

<HollyhockGod> Well, whatever excuse you need to not kill some poor nation's economy.

<HollyhockGod> Alan stands on the bow of the ship and says, um?

<AlanAmis> "Miss Anna Beauregarde, would you have a moment to speak with me?"

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<HollyhockGod> The water shimmers, then the ripples flatten out until they form a clear screen, on which the figure of the Lady of Water is visible.

<HollyhockGod> "For you, pie? I could spare two shakes, anytime. What might I do for you on this fine mornin'?"

<HollyhockGod> "Dare I hope this call is for pleasure?"

<HollyhockGod> Incidentally, she's drinking pink lemonade while sitting in some underwater temple adorned with a million pearls.

<AlanAmis> I feel a bit under-dressed in simple clothing then, but thank the gods for "southern hospitality".

<AlanAmis> "I am doing quite well, although I regret I'm not here to discuss such a meeting. Rather, I seem to have a bit of a problem…namely this ship."

<HollyhockGod> "I can see that it's broken. A lesser woman would make a joke about bad luck. I'm just pointin' that out."

<AlanAmis> "Indeed. Well, it should be relatively functional in a short amount of time, but I need it to…disappear without incident. Perhaps a bit of 'bad luck' out at sea, around say, noon tomorrow?"

<HollyhockGod> Anna drinks a long, thoughtful sip of lemonade.

<AlanAmis> "There would even be a chest or two of treasure. A bit of gold recently pulled from Egypt, I believe."

<AlanAmis> That might've been a mistake to mention.

<HollyhockGod> "Well," she says, "the bedroom is a nice shade of lilac. I suppose I've got a spot for it on the continental shelf just off of Brazil. Treasure is always useful, of course."

<HollyhockGod> "It provides that touch of class. Not conjured, I suppose?"

<AlanAmis> "It's the real deal, and was a bit of a hassle to obtain, trust me."

<HollyhockGod> "I'm not certain how Egypt will mesh with the decor, but a little bit of risk never hurt anyone, did it, pie?"

<HollyhockGod> "It's not like anyone but me ever needs to see."

<HollyhockGod> "If you're determined to get rid of the nice boat, I could lay claim at noon tomorrow. You can just leave all the accessories on board."

<AlanAmis> "Perfect. Oh, and might I request one minor thing in exchange for it? It's nothing all that troublesome, I assure you."

<AlanAmis> And this is where things might go south (pun intended in multiple ways).

<HollyhockGod> "No such thing as a free boat, is there, darling?"

<AlanAmis> "The cost isn't all that high. I merely request that should anyone come inquiring as to what exactly happened to the boat, that you merely know it sank into your territory through a bit of misfortune, and that you are unsure as to exactly what happened to the treasure that was on board."

<HollyhockGod> "Oh, is that all? You should konw I never sink and tell."

<AlanAmis> "Just a bit of confidentiality, if you know what I mean."

<HollyhockGod> And with a "Ta!" her image fades into ripples.

<AlanAmis> Well that was fortunate.

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<AlanAmis> I guess my next action would be to go ahead and speed up the process by seeing if anyone is currently out at their ship and willing to sell.

<HollyhockGod> How will you be buying?

<AlanAmis> It wouldn't be too hard to conjure up a bit of cold hard american cash would it?

<HollyhockGod> No, not at all!

<HollyhockGod> You encounter a swarthy man with the look of a career criminal standing next to a medium sized containery ship.

<HollyhockGod> He looks at you as though wondering whether he could get away with stealing your wallet in broad daylight.

<AlanAmis> Well, that would end poorly for him wouldn't it? Not that he'd know that.

<AlanAmis> "Excuse me good sir. You wouldn't happen to mind selling your ship, would you?"

<HollyhockGod> He gives you a look of utter scorn and says, "For you, three million," and then turns away to glare at the horizon.

<AlanAmis> Hmm. How many people are around?

<HollyhockGod> I don't know. Maybe a couple.

<AlanAmis> So much for impulsively pushing this man into the ocean and making his odds of a shark eating him very high. I guess I'll move onto the next possible buyer.

<AlanAmis> Er, seller.

<HollyhockGod> The next person standing next to a boat is a man in sporting attire washing a small fishing boat.

<AlanAmis> "Excuse me, good sir. You wouldn't happen to be looking to sell your boat, would you?"

<HollyhockGod> "No."

<AlanAmis> "Are you sure? It's a fine looking vessal, and I'm willing to pay just about any price…"

<HollyhockGod> "Couldn't let it go for less than six thousand pounds."

<AlanAmis> "Six thousand, you say? I don't suppose you would take that in American dollars would you?"

<HollyhockGod> "Why on Earth would I want to do that?"

<AlanAmis> "Just a bit curious, good sir." Is he watching me or still looking at his boat while he washes?

<HollyhockGod> I think he's wondering who the crazy American is.

<AlanAmis> "Will you be here in a few minutes while I go get the money, then?"

<HollyhockGod> "Oh, I'll be riiiight here."

<AlanAmis> "Excellent." So now I'll go walk off to find a relatively safe spot to magic up some money.

<AlanAmis> Nothing bad happens then?

<HollyhockGod> Seems easy enough. One briefcase full of pound notes.

<AlanAmis> Alright.

<AlanAmis> I'll wait about ten minutes, then go ahead and return to where the guy was.

<HollyhockGod> He eyes you suspiciously./

<AlanAmis> "I believe this was the sum you requested?" I'll go ahead and let him check the briefcase.

<HollyhockGod> He gives you a look, then a look at the briefcase, then another one at you.

<HollyhockGod> Then he thumbs through the bills.

<HollyhockGod> Then he says "Okay." and tosses you the keys.

<HollyhockGod> He walks away.

<AlanAmis> The first and biggest worry is that the thing won't start, so I'll go to check that it at least runs.

<HollyhockGod> It runs.

<AlanAmis> Alright then. Is there any room to go park it near my ship so my crew can start moving the treasure?

<HollyhockGod> Sure. They get paid for heavy lifting anyway.

<HollyhockGod> Treasure gets loaded, and things.

<HollyhockGod> Are the men going to keep it a secret from Laurel?

<AlanAmis> Well that's the question isn't it?

<AlanAmis> It was causing me to delay my responses a tad.

<AlanAmis> I'm going to trust that a bit of a bonus to their paycheck along with the normal "Anything X person can do I can do worse" stipulation will keep them quiet.

<HollyhockGod> You've got enough Aspect to be mildly convincing, again.

<AlanAmis> Then again.

<HollyhockGod> So, when the morning comes you send the boat out, and prepare to use the new boat as a liferaft?

<AlanAmis> That's about it.

<AlanAmis> Although I think providing the crew with a bit of money and transporting them to say Europe to 'start over' would be prudent.

<HollyhockGod> I'm not sure that they'd be willing to leave Edith.

<HollyhockGod> She has the Indian sign over the minds of Chancelfolk.

<AlanAmis> True. I'll just stick to saying I expended a lot of luck in keeping them all alive and thus lost track of the ship and money.

<AlanAmis> Not sure how well that'll fly, but if Anna and the crew hold up their stories, they won't be able to prove anything.

<HollyhockGod> This is true!

<HollyhockGod> So let's assume you do that.

<HollyhockGod> A terrible storm appears, and the ship is blown off course.

<HollyhockGod> Eventually you must flee with the crew to the new fishing boat you bought because you like to fish.

<HollyhockGod> You're just lucky liike that.

<HollyhockGod> The boat is eaten by the sea, and the waters calm themselves.

<AlanAmis> Just out of curiosity, would Greed's chancel be accessible while he's away?

<HollyhockGod> Sure, although he probably has Siblings.

<HollyhockGod> I don't think I decided who they are.

<HollyhockGod> Let's say Chemical Weapons and Cookery.

<AlanAmis> Nads.

<HollyhockGod> Oh, and you're being approached by the police, in boats with sirens flashing.

<HollyhockGod> "THIS IS THE CONSTABULARY. WE ARE COMING ABOARD!"

<AlanAmis> Hmm. How many boats?

<HollyhockGod> Two!

<HollyhockGod> Oh, and you are only realizing this now, when the sudden sense of danger makes you attentive like that…

<HollyhockGod> But this boat has a funny smell to it.

<AlanAmis> Well, before I destroy the luck of the police boats, is there any way to tell what the smell is?

<HollyhockGod> Use of Aspect miracle?

<HollyhockGod> Which would tell you that it's corpse-ish?

<AlanAmis> Wonderful.

<HollyhockGod> PREPARE TO BE BOARDED!

<HollyhockGod> Do you have a plan?

<AlanAmis> Well I have a bunch of treasure and a crew crammed in with what might be dead people.

<HollyhockGod> Also I don't think you have a license to drive a boat, so that's funny too.

<AlanAmis> Hmm.

<AlanAmis> Well, escaping back into my chancel would be highly counter-productive.

<AlanAmis> What would probably be a safe chancel to suddenly visit that could be reached via water?

<HollyhockGod> I don't think there are any that you can just walk into.

<AlanAmis> Alright.

<AlanAmis> Looks like a fight then.

<AlanAmis> Police boats would probably catch up to me if I ran, wouldn't they?

<HollyhockGod> It's a pity Edith didn't make boat crews wired for ultraviolence.

<HollyhockGod> At least, I don't suppose she did.

<HollyhockGod> I'm sure they're quite fast.

<HollyhockGod> But you don't know what your boat can do.

<HollyhockGod> It's not like you have powers, I mean.

<AlanAmis> Well, I'll tell my driver to quite literally "Step on it" while using a lesser creation of good fortune for the boat in hopes it'll lose the police boats.

<AlanAmis> It'd take a level 5 miracle to create misfortune wouldn't it.

<HollyhockGod> I think you can just use Creation to make bad fortune.

<AlanAmis> Alright. I always found that a little fuzzy.

<HollyhockGod> I'm unsure how lucky your boat can exactly get, but it's easy to induce breakdowns in the police boats.

<AlanAmis> Two instances of lesser creation of bad fortune for the boats then.

<HollyhockGod> Breakdown!

<AlanAmis> However fortunate that is, I admit that I'm likely to be a wanted boat now.

<HollyhockGod> You do seem rather popular.

<AlanAmis> Perhaps I should take up Miss Beauregarde upon her offer to visit.

<HollyhockGod> I think Ash-Atlantica is a fair distance out into the mid-Atlantic.

<HollyhockGod> This boat probably can't make it.

<AlanAmis> True. It's "unfortunate".

<HollyhockGod> You could ditch it on the shore and call home for pickup.

<AlanAmis> Quite a predicament, going back to where the police came from.

<AlanAmis> Actually, I might as well go see where the smell is coming from.

<HollyhockGod> It seems to be coming from under the floor.

<HollyhockGod> I'm not sure that you can open it up properly while you're on the water.

<AlanAmis> Unfortunate.

<AlanAmis> Well, I guess heading back for a remote section of the shore where no one's likely to see me is a good idea.

<AlanAmis> If anything, I can just do a generic burying of the treasure and get rid of the ship.

<HollyhockGod> Okay, so that's what you'll do?

<AlanAmis> Yes.

<AlanAmis> I'll probably watch over the treasure while I let the crew go into town and relax a bit for a day or two.

<HollyhockGod> Okay, you have the boat dragged down a vaguely inconspicuous creek and do your best to conceal it on the bank.

<HollyhockGod> So, are you planning to get home before the timer?

<AlanAmis> Once the afternoon has passed, I'll decide to call home for pick-up.

<HollyhockGod> As night falls, then, you give a call to Edith asking to be collected, as the men return from the town with souvenir tchotchkes.

<HollyhockGod> What will you do while you wait for a boat to arrive/

<HollyhockGod> ?

<AlanAmis> Just stand on the shore I guess, while I explain the cover story to all the crew.

<AlanAmis> On how the ship was sunk and we spent the afternoon getting to shore.

<HollyhockGod> All right. You have several hours to wait, though.

<AlanAmis> Given how poorly things went, I think I'd prefer to not tempt fate any more.

<HollyhockGod> Fair enough.

<AlanAmis> I know it's boring, but eh.

<HollyhockGod> Eventually you are collected, and taken home.

<HollyhockGod> The vampire zombie stashed in the boat does not eat the crew as I'd intended.

<AlanAmis> See? Some times you just have to make your luck.

<HollyhockGod> I guess I can't blame you for recognizing a bout of ill luck and stepping out of the way.

<AlanAmis> Or…something.

<HollyhockGod> Nobody even got eaten by a grue.

<HollyhockGod> Disappointing.

<HollyhockGod> At least I have finished another story.

<AlanAmis> Going back deviates from the plan, buuuuut I don't need to create an international incident.

<HollyhockGod> Character points for all!

<HollyhockGod> Next week I have really got to have something smashing happen.

<HollyhockGod> This time was all talk, talk, talk.

<HollyhockGod> It's flower rite time.

<AlanAmis> …uh oh.

<HollyhockGod> Although I suppose a dragon is going to

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